


Sky Full of Stars

by TowardTheStars



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Alternate Universe - Actors, Alternate Universe - Hollywood, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst, Conspiracy, Drama, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Enemies to Lovers, F/M, Hollywood, Hollywood is rotten, Hurt/Comfort, Los Angeles, M/M, Marauders, Modern Era, Past Child Abuse, Pedophilia, Rape/Non-con Elements, Romance, Slow Burn, Violence, no magic
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-08-07
Updated: 2020-11-14
Packaged: 2021-03-06 05:42:27
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 5
Words: 19,748
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25758301
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TowardTheStars/pseuds/TowardTheStars
Summary: “Well, you know about my brother, right?” Regulus had asked.“Your brother?”“Yeah,” Regulus replied, sounding surprised. “Yeah, uh, Sirius Black? The actor?”“Oh,” Severus had responded, feeling stupid. “Uh, no, I don’t actually. Should I?”“You don’t know about Sirius Black? Power of the Dog? Cries of an Innocent Man? Through the Veil?  None of that?” Regulus stopped in his tracks and turned to face Severus. “You’re telling me you had no idea I’m related to one of Hollywood’s biggest stars?”
Relationships: James Potter & Severus Snape, James Potter/Lily Evans Potter, Lily Evans Potter & Severus Snape, Regulus Black & Severus Snape, Regulus Black & Sirius Black, Sirius Black & Remus Lupin & James Potter & Severus Snape, Sirius Black/Fenrir Greyback/Remus Lupin, Sirius Black/Remus Lupin, Sirius Black/Severus Snape, Sirius Black/Tom Riddle
Comments: 116
Kudos: 289





	1. Summer Breeze

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [Tell Me Something...](https://archiveofourown.org/works/25561981) by [WolfyWordWeaver](https://archiveofourown.org/users/WolfyWordWeaver/pseuds/WolfyWordWeaver). 



Severus had to agree – there was something innately thrilling about pulling up to a strobe-lit house in the Hills. Celebrities, supermodels, Hollywood’s finest and those who hung onto their fame had all clustered around this superstar’s house to engage in debauched decadence and revel in their beauty, fame and narcissism.

Severus knew he did not belong to that world. Nor did he particularly want to he thought. He liked the sterility of the lab and the dependence on chemical reactions and the quiet pursuit for knowledge.

Not this epitome of human profligacy.

Yet, in some strange twist of fate, Severus had found himself befriending Regulus Black, brother to actor Sirius Black and son of two Hollywood moguls.

He hadn’t intended to; upon acceptance into UCLA’s graduate program, he had imagined himself spending time in the library or lab and ignoring the hullaballoo of Los Angeles and all it suggested. He had no interest in celebrity culture, believed them all to be depraved anyway, and hated parties to begin with.

He hadn’t even recognized the fact that Regulus’s brother happened to be crowned by the public as some coveted Hollywood star. No, Regulus had been someone he had run into the library, frantically searching for some books on cybersecurity among the stacks. Severus, remembering Lily’s words to try to make friends, decided to help him.

Regulus had bought him a drink later as thanks, and from there, Severus found himself with a friend in the massive metropolis of L.A.

Only much later did he find out that Regulus’s brother was apparently a world-renowned celebrity. He had watched in a confusion as some girls rushed up to Regulus to gush about a movie; Regulus had responded politely but quickly disengaged from them, turning to leave with Severus.

“What was that about?” Severus had asked, tilting his head in Regulus’s direction. He still didn’t possess the greatest grasp on L.A. culture, especially after moving here from a small town in New York and attending undergraduate on the east coast. Perhaps that was normal in this city.

“Huh?” Regulus had asked. “Oh, that? Well, you know about my brother, right?”

“Your brother?”

“Yeah,” Regulus replied, sounding surprised. “Yeah, uh, Sirius Black? The actor?”

“Oh,” Severus had responded, feeling stupid. It sounded as if Regulus had expected him to know and the fact that he didn’t reflected on a cultural gap Severus had yet to overcome in his move from coast to coast. “Uh, no, I don’t actually. Should I?”

“You don’t know about Sirius Black? _Power of the Dog? Cries of an Innocent Man?_ _Through the Veil_? Really? None of that?” Regulus stopped in his tracks and turned to face Severus. “You’re telling me you had no idea I’m related to one of Hollywood’s biggest stars?”

Severus had flushed uncomfortably; he hadn’t spoken about his childhood with Regulus yet, so Regulus could hardly know that Severus hadn’t had the money to attend the movies. After a while, he had just started to ignore them.

“No, I…I mean, I don’t really watch a lot of movies.”

“No shit.” Regulus had stared at him for a moment longer, Severus shifting uncomfortably under his gaze. Then Regulus beamed at him. “Severus, you don’t know how happy I am to hear that.”

Severus blinked, taken aback. “Why?”

Regulus ran a hand through his hair and laughed. “Because most of the people I meet solely want to be friends with me for that reason. They ask me for his autograph, to meet him all that. It sucks. I kept waiting for you to bring it up. Holy shit,” Regulus grinned. “That means you actually like me right?”

Severus bristled. “I wouldn’t go that far.”

Regulus lightly shoved at his shoulder. “Wow, I seriously didn’t think I would ever meet anyone…I think I might love you.”

Severus rolled at his eyes at Regulus’s light-hearted proclamation, causing Regulus to laugh.

“We’ll watch one of his movies. I think you’ll like _Through the Veil._ Actually,” Regulus paused, thinking. “He invited me to some party this weekend if you wanna come? It’ll be big-name people, which might be kind of cool. Unless…damn, I’ll have to see how many you know.” Regulus laughed at the apparent sheer absurdity of it. “Yeah, it’s very L.A. if you want to come, you fucking Yankee.”

“Alright,” Severus said after a moment, thinking he might as well. He really had no reason not to. Besides, he liked Regulus Black, and he thought meeting his brother would be, if nothing else, interesting.

That afternoon, he had googled the name Sirius Black, curious to see who exactly this man was. It took one glance for him to admit that Sirius Black fit perfectly into the stereotype of a movie star by being breathtakingly, ridiculously, outrageously handsome. He had grown his thick black hair out to his shoulders, his jaw set strong, cheekbones high and his gray eyes piercing. He had a movie star face, and Severus struggled to feel nothing for it.

He could also see the resemblance to Regulus – in his nose and his eyes and cheekbones. However, Regulus looked more boyish in his features, much more boy next door than the strong build of his brother. Even still, they were both incredibly handsome, far more than Severus, and he balked at the thought of being surrounded by Hollywood’s most beautiful.

Severus, even though he had now made peace with it, did not rank as attractive. He knew his features came off as too narrow and aquiline in his face, and his nose did him no favors. He valued his mind far more anyways, so it had not bothered him for some time.

He scrolled further on the web search, reading over Black’s IMDb page and recognizing a few of the movies from advertisements. He also remembered watching one – he thought _Power of the Dog_ – in Lily’s dorm room his freshman year of college. He had distractedly watched the first ten minutes or so and then fallen asleep fast asleep, exhausted after the week, so he didn’t remember all that much. Lily had enjoyed it though; perhaps he should call her.

He read over some Oscar buzz for his latest role in _Through the Veil_ and then fell into the gossip rags that tracked Black’s wild lifestyle and his several relationships and his one stint in rehab. Severus’s gaze flickered over stories reporting Black’s dramatic breakup with a supermodel and then his previous affair with some British hunk, and he blushed when he realized Black hadn’t limited himself to the female side of Hollywood.

He hoped for Regulus’s sake that Black proved himself far differently than how the internet presented him. Severus anticipated someone drunk on their own arrogance, callous and haughty and believing himself above the common drudge of life. Those traits didn’t particularly endear someone to Severus, but then again, this was a superstar. He wasn’t some man off the street; this was Sirius Black, and from what Severus could gather, that apparently mattered.

He spent the days leading up to Friday trying to decide how to deal with Black. Severus had never even envisioned Regulus as part of that world and had never dealt with the bluster of nerves over talking to someone famous. He thought it over, played through acting deferent or flattering or uncaring, and finally decided to treat Sirius Black as he did his brother.

Lily had told him to make friends, and while he hadn’t been all that successful, he thought it would make her smile if he told her one of his newfound friends happened to be some great actor.

Of course, he thought, they might just hate each other. Or nothing would come of it. But, still, he thought with a smirk, the possibility existed.

He grew nervous as they stopped in front of the mansion. Regulus thanked the uber driver and then pushed Severus out onto the street. Four women in very high heels and very short dresses strutted past them, and Severus watched stupidly, feeling as if he had just stepped onto another planet.

Regulus noticed his expression and laughed. “You’ll be alright,” he chuckled again at Severus’s skeptical look. “Seriously. You’re smarter than most of the people here. And you’ll…you’ll be fine, Severus.”

Severus shot Regulus another disbelieving stare, at which Regulus just shook his head and laughed. “By the way,” he added, “You look good, Sev. All black, very you know Phantom of the Opera or Matrix-y.”

“Matrix-y?”

Regulus stopped again, causing a couple behind them to shoot him dirty looks as they nearly stumbled into him. “Please tell me you’ve seen the Matrix?”

Severus thought for a moment. “Is that the one with the robots?”

Regulus beamed. “Yup, exactly. God, I’m going to love this.”

“I feel like you’re just making fun of me.”

Regulus shook his head. “No, I’ve lived in L.A. my entire life, and I have never met anyone so completely uninterested in pop culture. Ever. It’s kind of amazing.”

Severus gestured towards the house they had now nearly approached. “Will these people-?”

“They’ll absolutely hate you for it,” Regulus said with a smirk. “For these people, they live for people to know who they are. If you don’t, then you can’t really commit a greater offense in their eyes. But since they’re all narcissistic bastards, it’s incredibly worthwhile. You should be proud, honestly. And please, please, if we run into any Kardashian, please pretend you don’t know who they are.”

“Isn’t she the one with ah, the butt?” Severus asked, blushing at the one picture he had accidentally glanced at when Lily had scrolled through her Instagram.

Regulus laughed again. “Yeah, that’s the one. Now, come on, let’s get something to drink and then we can try to find my brother.”

They walked through the doorway, passing someone Severus thought he recognized from some movie or another. The house was phenomenal – modern, massive, and clearly very expensive. It was every bit as much a Hollywood mansion as Severus would have imagined, and his breath left him as he considered its magnificence.

The ground floor looked packed with people all wearing fashionable, expensive clothes, resplendent in their fame, and, Severus noted with a frown, loud and annoying and drunk. A group laughed loudly beside him, and Severus twitched at the sound. He had never liked loud noises, which is why he had generally avoided any large social gathering. Until now, of course.

As they crossed the space, a very pretty girl with curly brown hair and amber eyes rushed over to them and pulled Regulus into a hug.

“Reggie,” she squealed, “How are you? How’s school?”

Regulus smiled and returned her hug. “It’s been good, D. Lots of studying, but you know, that’s how it goes. I saw your, um new movie – that one with Fenwick? Loved it, seriously.”

“Oh, Reggie, thank you! Benjy was such a great co-star. Really passionate, you know?”

“Oh?” Regulus asked, raising an eyebrow. She giggled and smacked his shoulder.

“Don’t look at me like that. It’s that Swedish accent, you know?”

“Yeah,” Regulus emphasized. “Good for you D. Is he here tonight?”

The girl nodded and waved her hand. “Got stuck talking to some director, so I slipped away. But it’s so nice to see you, Reggie. We should get lunch together soon.” Regulus nodded in agreement, and she shifted her gaze to Severus. “And I’m sorry, I don’t think I…”

“Severus Snape,” Severus introduced, sticking out his hand for her to shake. She did so, and her gaze flickered between the two of them.

“He’s a classmate,” Regulus explained. “He’s in the Chemistry department. Completely brilliant, you know.” Severus scowled at the compliment and Regulus laughed. “And this uh, Dorcas Meadows? Do you…?”

Severus tried to place her admittedly very pretty face, but besides some faint recognition, he couldn’t think of anything. “Uh, no,” he admitted, holding his hands awkwardly by his side. Dorcas’s smiled faltered, and she looked confused.

“What…?”

Regulus rested a hand on Severus’s shoulder. “My amazing friend has next to no knowledge on celebrity culture or any of that. It’s so fucking cool.”

Dorcas laughed awkwardly, seeming not to believe Regulus’s claim. “But he knew about…Sirius, right?”

Regulus shook his head. “Nope, nothing. We’ve been friends for what like four months now? And yeah, nope, he just found out this week actually.”

Dorcas stared at Severus with wide, disbelieving eyes. “Wow…I, where are you from? It’s just crazy to think…”

Severus gave a small shrug. “I grew up in New York. Only watched old shows, if anything, so I never really got to know anyone. Oh, and Grey’s Anatomy. I have seen that.”

Regulus turned to him, face crinkling in confusion. “Grey’s?”

Severus nodded. “My best friend used to watch it a lot.”

“I think I saw Ellen Pompeo here,” Dorcas added, scanning the room. She caught sight of what must have been Fenwick because she smiled and excused herself. Regulus’s smile stretched across his face and he laughed.

“Sev, amazing.”

“How do you know-?”

“Old family friend,” Regulus explained. “Her mom used to be a big actress. She’s pretty cool. Now, I need a drink.”

Severus nodded, and Regulus led him over to a table in the corner. A few bartenders were frantically trying to make drinks for the crowd, and Regulus shoved his way to the end of the table and tried to wave one down. He pulled Severus beside him who accidentally bumped into some woman.

“Sorry,” he apologized, and the blonde huffed and ran her gaze over him apathetically.

“And who are you?” she drawled, and Severus bristled at her tone. “Some up and coming director type?” She peered at his face. “Certainly not a model,” she sniggered.

“No,” Severus replied coldly. “Now excuse me.” He turned her back to her, and he could practically feel her surprise. Regulus noticed and glanced behind her.

“You have no idea who she is, right?”

“Annoying,” Severus muttered.

Regulus shook his head. “Also happened to have won an Oscar last year. She’s probably _never_ had anyone turn their back on her.”

“Well, then she shouldn’t insult people,” Severus responded, shrugging. Regulus shook his head in grudging respect.

“Right.”

The bartender finally reached them and Regulus ordered a rum and coke, to which Severus doubled the order. The bartender coolly turned away, made the drinks, and slid them towards them, quickly turning away to attend another.

They took their drinks and walked back out into the room. Regulus scanned the room, his gaze settling on the opposite corner. He grabbed Severus’s wrist and pulled him in that direction.

They stumbled around a few people – one or two Severus did think he recognized – and, they reached a group of people.

Sirius Black was abundantly obvious; his type of handsome seemed to suck all the air from the room, and Severus dug his fingernails into his palm in irritation when the air in his lungs rushed out. The resemblance with Regulus was apparent, and he smiled brightly when he caught sight of his brother and pulled him into a firm hug.

A gorgeous woman with black hair stood beside him, and Severus averted his eyes from her chest as well – wow. Another man who was shorter and more rotund and with baby cheeks, and then a nerdy type with rounded glasses and a mess of black hair. He smiled when he saw Severus, and Severus nervously returned the smile.

“Reggie!” Sirius exclaimed, eyes bright and smile wide. He clutched a drink in his hand and took a long sip. Severus noticed that the nerdy one watched him closely. “How are you, brother?”

Regulus pulled a face. “Drowning in school work, but otherwise alright. And this is, uh Severus. Severus Snape,” he introduced, gesturing towards his friend. Severus gave an awkward smile and stuck his hand forward to shake Sirius’s.

Sirius took it, his grip strong, and he glanced between the two of them. “Someone from school?”

“Yeah, he’s in the Chemistry department. Helped me find some books in the library once and it’s been history ever since.”

“It’s very nice to meet you,” Severus added for he felt it polite. Sirius Black stared at him for a moment, the look in his eyes surprisingly distrustful.

“Yeah, alright,” he said, his tone cooler than Regulus seemed to have expected. He began to frown, but the nerdy one stepped in.

“Hey Reg, how are you?” the man asked, and Regulus shook off the moment of strangeness.

“Doing good, James. How’s the new movie coming? It’s with Sirius right?”

James nodded. “Working title so far is _The Lions and the Snakes._ Peter’s in it too.” The shorter man nodded. “Production’s been a bitch, but hopefully it turns out alright.”

“It will,” the one named Peter gushed. “You’re brilliant, James. Wouldn’t be surprised if you get an Oscar.”

“Yeah, we’ll see,” he laughed and then turned to Severus to reach out his hand. “James Potter.”

“Severus Snape,” Severus introduced again, wondering if he had seen James anywhere before. He couldn’t place him

“Oh, Peter Pettigrew,” the shorter man said. No, Severus did not know him.

“And Bellatrix Black,” the gorgeous woman added as an afterthought. Her haughty voice had an edge of sultriness, and Severus felt his cheeks warm. “It’s good to see Reggie find himself a little friend, you know. The last one was so…”

“Bella,” Sirius warned as Regulus glanced down at the floor.

“Just saying,” Bellatrix added, throwing her hair over her shoulder. “Pleasure to meet you, Severus Snape.” She had a shark’s smile, Severus decided. Dangerous. Enticing.

“Are you…” he asked, for he really didn’t know and her last name seemed to suggest a familial relationship. “I didn’t know you had a sister, Reg. Uhh,” he added when everyone looked at him a bit too sharply.

“She’s his cousin,” Peter stated flatly. “The Black sisters?”

Severus flushed and felt increasingly stupid. “Sorry, I don’t really follow this stuff.”

“But she’s…” Peter continued flabbergasted. “What?”

“You don’t know about me?” Bellatrix asked, her tone sharp and causing Severus to blanch. “Narcissa?”

Regulus shook his head and responded for him. “He doesn’t know. He didn’t even know about you, Sirius.”

Sirius snorted at that and rolled his eyes.

“No seriously, he had no idea. He doesn’t watch movies.”

“He’s never seen a single movie?” Sirius replied skeptically. He snorted again, and Severus felt himself bristle at his tone.

“I have actually,” Severus cut in, unwilling to remain silent. “And I’ve seen one of yours, I think.”

“You have?” Regulus asked, surprised.

Severus nodded. “The one with the dog?”

“ _Power of the Dog_?” Sirius corrected snidely, and Bellatrix giggled.

“Yeah,” Severus replied for it sounded right.

“How’d you like it?” James asked, glancing over worriedly at Sirius.

“Oh, I – well I fell asleep in the first ten minutes, but it seemed…promising,” he finished. “My friend put it on, and I…” he added awkwardly to their stunned stares. To his relief, both James and Regulus burst out in laughter.

Sirius only stared at Severus with dislike evident in his striking gray eyes. Severus swallowed hard and took a sip of his drink. He suddenly felt extremely uncomfortable and was grateful when Bellatrix turned the conversation away from him and back to James’s movie.

He watched the conversation play out, feeling as if he had nothing to add. Regulus shot him a worried glance, and Severus cringed at himself – he had always shied on the side of socially inept, so what had he expected?

After a while, he excused himself and decided to head outside for a smoke. The loud hum of voices and the general oppressive heat had started to overwhelm him, and he badly needed some fresh air. He headed toward the back door but noting the shrieks and music coming from the pool, he decided to head instead for the balcony he had seen from the outside. It looked much emptier and quieter, so he headed upstairs.

He found the balcony easily and took a moment to stare into the stunning landscape, alight despite the coolness of the night. He couldn’t see any stars and frowned; in his small town in New York, he could always catch glimpses of constellations. Here, the smog smothered the night sky.

He took a cigarette from his pocket and politely asked an older man who had also retreated onto the balcony for a lighter. The man offered his lighter, exchanged an understanding smile, and then retreated back into the house, leaving Severus alone.

Severus leaned across the balcony railing and sighed. He took a drag of the cigarette – Lily had been pressuring him to quit for years, but since he had so few vices, he had maintained the habit, albeit far less than he used to.

The smoke filled his lungs, and he felt himself relax. The dull thrum of the party faded behind him, and he took in the night and the feel of fresh air in his lungs. He jolted when he heard someone approach him.

He turned and stared in surprise at Sirius Black. Black had swaggered up, eyes far too bright in a way that reminded Severus of the times he had seen Mucliber snort cocaine. He tensed automatically and regarded Black warily.

He waited for Black to speak, turning back to face the Hollywood hills. Black sidled up beside him, leaning against the balcony and reaching out for Severus’s cigarette. Severus passed it to him, uncertain of what else to do.

“Here’s the deal,” Black growled, “You hurt Reggie, I kill you. Comprende?”

“Why would I -?” Severus started, but the look in Black’s eyes caused him to pause. “I’m not going to hurt your brother.”

Black let out a cruel snort and took a drag of the cigarette. He held it tightly, and Severus stared entranced at his perfect fingers. “Fucking hell, you aren’t. If you do, right, I’ll fucking kill you.”

“Sure,” Severus said before he could stop himself. Black turned on him, his eyes narrowing.

“This isn’t some fucking joke. I don’t know what your deal is and what you want from him, but I’m not fucking around.”

Severus leaned into his space and hissed, “ _He_ befriended me, alright? And unlike you might think, I don’t give a single fuck about you.”

Black looked at him with skeptical distrust and curled his lips cruelly. “Think you’re special or something? Do you even know who I am?”

“Yeah, a fucking asshole,” Severus cut back, his infamous temper flaring. He knew Lily would be disappointed him, but he didn’t care.

Black curled his fist. “You have no idea -.”

“Yes, and I don’t want to know a single fucking thing about you, alright? Unless you can get your head out of your ass.” Severus sighed and turned away. “I’m not going to hurt your brother. I’m not trying to use him to get to you. I didn’t even know you existed until about three days ago.”

Sirius watched him for a moment, and Severus tried not to shift uncomfortably under his intense gaze. He eventually took a drag from the cigarette and threw it down into the cliff below, the ember falling and fading. “You better not,” he hissed, and then before Severus could respond, he turned and stalked back into the house.

Severus let out a breath he didn’t know he had been holding and leaned heavily onto the railing. He felt sick; he had no idea what he had done, and then for him to respond like that – he felt an immense wave of shame. Lily had always warned him about his temper, the way he could never let anything go, and while he had been trying to work on it, he had fallen straight back into it and pissed off Regulus’s brother. To be fair, he was threatening Severus, but it still didn’t reflect greatly back on him. Now, he could expect their relationship to be tense and stressful, and since Severus had no intention to leave Regulus, it would be a continuing problem.

He let out a curse; why the hell was Sirius Black such an asshole when Regulus was so nice and friendly? What could he had done better? God, he missed New York.

Lost in his thoughts, he didn’t notice someone else approach him. He tensed and turned his head, meeting the surprisingly kind eyes of James Potter.

“What do you want?” Severus growled, expected that Black had sent Potter up to finish the deal. He wondered if Black had sent Potter up to push him off the balcony.

James sighed and looked out onto L.A. “Yeah, I figured,” he said softly. “It’s really not you, Severus.”

“Sure,” Severus said shortly. James shook his head.

“It’s not. He’s…” James paused and took a moment to debate something in his head. “Can you promise me something?”

“No.”

“Can you promise not to tell Reggie what I’m about to say?”

“No,” Severus repeated. James blinked and seemed surprised.

“Why not?”

“I try not to keep secrets from my friends,” Severus replied bitterly, remembering just had badly that had fucked him up for a time with Lily.

“Oh,” James nodded in understanding. “Oh, good.” He paused and seemed to reconsider his direction. “It’s not necessarily…it’s more so that Sirius doesn’t want Reggie to have to know. That it’s something that could hurt him more than it already did.”

“Potter,” Severus sighed, “I really don’t…”

“It’s about his last friend,” James replied quietly. “The last friend we’ve met at least.”

“And he was using Regulus, huh?” Severus speculated bitterly.

“Yeah, he was,” James replied, sounding reminiscent. “A nice guy. Really nice, actually. But he was obsessed with Sirius. Got to the point – it got bad. What happened – it sent Sirius spiraling. You know when he was in rehab? Or I guess you wouldn’t.”

“I saw on Google,” Severus said, thinking back on those tabloids. James sighed again.

“Yeah, and poor Reggie, he was – he didn’t know all of it, but he knew he got used. Didn’t seem like he trusted anyone for a while. Especially didn’t bring anyone to meet us. Until you.”

“I’m not-,” Severus protested.

James let out a small laugh. “I know. Either you’re completely brilliant by pretending not to recognize Bellatrix Black and playing a game far above our level, or you’re just…you’re actually a friend.”

Severus snorted, and James tilted his head.

“I don’t mean to be rude, but do you really not follow any of this?”

Severus looked sideways at James, relaxed, and shook his head.

“No,” he answered, “I…I didn’t have much growing up, and what I did certainly didn’t go to the movies. I read a lot.”

“Yeah?”

“Mm-hmm, and the T.V. I watched was just what my dad and then my mom watched. Which was a lot of COPS and I Love Lucy.”

“So you really just never…”

Severus shrugged. “No, never really was anything I exposed to. And it’s kind of too late for me to start caring now.”

James laughed at that. “Then if that’s the case, stay friends with Reggie. Ignore Sirius. Once he realizes you’re not some crazy stalker, he’ll warm up to you. He just worries a lot about Reggie.”

“Guess that makes sense,” Severus replied. “But he really didn’t have to threaten to kill me.”

James blanched at that and then laughed nervously. “He really wouldn’t,” he tried to assure. “He says shit. All that Hollywood crap. God, that didn’t sound convincing.”

Severus glanced over at him and couldn’t keep himself from smiling. “No, not particularly.”

James huffed out a laugh. “Sorry about that. And him. He’s an ass, but he’s a good ass once you get to know him.”

“Mmm,” Severus hummed unconvinced, and James laughed again.

“Alright, then. Um, actually,” James added, sobering a bit. “We got a restraining order on the guy and I don’t think he would, but he might because you’re now friends with Reggie. He’s uh got problems, if you know what I mean. If you see him, just get away, honestly.”

“Okay,” Severus agreed, figuring he could avoid some crazy person. “What’s his name?”

James sighed and looked back up at the night sky and the gleaming moon.

“Remus Lupin.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ahh, the wonderful feeling of instant inspiration after reading a story and having the mad urge to turn into a multi-chapter fanfiction with more drama than is probably healthy. WolfyWordWeaver's story is excellent, but I got caught up in the idea of Severus/Sirius (my favorite couple to write) and hence, this was born.
> 
> I've been to L.A. once, and I was not hanging out with movie stars, but I've seen enough movies to imagine it goes something like this. Please feel free to substitute any of the nameless celebrities with your personal favorites. Severus doesn't know any better, so do as you will with whatever famous person you fancy. 
> 
> I'm also planning about 10-15 chapters for this, with eventual Severus/Sirius, and I love every comment :)


	2. Misunderstood

Two weeks later, Severus found himself in Regulus’s kitchen. Regulus had invited him over to make dinner, and Severus, who loved baking but despised cooking with a passion, tried not to freak out as Regulus lobbed a whole glob of minced garlic into the pan.

Regulus then poured out a generous offering of olive oil, stirring the pasta haphazardly. Severus took out his stress by dicing the onion into small exact pieces.

Regulus noticed and huffed out a laugh. “It’s not an exact science, Sev.”

“It should be,” Severus replied tightly, gripping onto the cutting knife.

“It’s not like its hydrogen peroxide or whatever you guys do.”

“If its hydrogen peroxide you’re pouring into the pasta, we have far greater concerns than a small mismeasurement.”

Regulus snorted. “Bad example. But you get my point. It’s cooking. Live a little. Dump a ton of garlic in. It’s all right.”

Severus grimaced at Regulus. “No, it’s not. Or it shouldn’t be.”

“Then we’re going to bake next time,” he grinned. “Sound better?”

“Yes,” Severus said definitively. “You’re making me stressed.”

“God forbid I give you any more stress. What, it’s finals in a few weeks?”

“Don’t remind me,” Severus grumbled, and Regulus laughed again. He plated the food and poured some wine, and it was only after the second glass did Severus feel the courage to ask something he had wondered about since meeting Sirius Black.

“Can I ask you something?” Severus said, staring into his bowl. He ran a fork around its edge.

“What’s up?”

“I don’t want to…you don’t have to answer if you don’t want.”

“What is it Sev?” Regulus asked, looking concerned. “Everything all right?”

“It’s about…”

“Fuck, Sirius, isn’t it? Has he been-?”

“No, no, no,” Severus quickly corrected. “No just…well, it’s about you too I guess.”

“Oh, what…what is it?” Regulus watched him carefully. Severus swallowed and forced the question out.

“Why weren’t you…why didn’t you ever do that? Why are you here, Reggie and not in…”

“The tabloids? Yeah, I know what you mean,” Regulus drew in a breath and thought for a moment. “I was actually when I was young. Did a few shows, nothing major.”

“Oh, I didn’t know.”

“Yeah, that’s okay. Sirius was always the star. Used to hate him for it, honestly. Well, because actually…” Regulus trailed off, and Severus waited patiently for him to speak. “I really wanted to be like him. Every kid wants to be famous. And with Sirius…but I don’t know, he…” Regulus paused and rubbed at his temple. “I don’t want to make him into some dick, because…but pretty much if I got a role, he would completely lose his temper over it and yell at Mom and Dad and cause a scene, and they would pull me from it.”

“Reg…”

“Nah, it’s alright, Sev,” Regulus quickly cut in. “Not so much back then, of course. I hated him for it. Resented the fact that here he was, and then I’m over here just…doing nothing, you know. We didn’t talk for a few years, actually.” He sighed. “But he’s my brother. And as I got older, I realized that child star life wasn’t all it was made to be, and he was probably doing me a favor. So we reconnected, all that. But by that time, it was kind of past the point for me to try at anything. And I did really like school, so I stuck with it, and here I am.”

“That’s messed up, Reg.”

“Hmm?” Regulus thought for a moment. “Yeah, I don’t know. I don’t really want to keep hating him for it, so…”

“Regulus, still,” Severus pressed as he felt anger spark over Black’s actions. That sheer arrogance and entitlement rankled him, and he gripped his fork tightly in his hand. “He shouldn’t have the right to do something like that. To take that from you.”

Regulus shrugged and spun his fork in the pasta. “He’s Sirius, right? He doesn’t really play by everyone else’s rules.”

“It’s still messed up, Reg. Just the fact that-.”

“Sev, please, you don’t need to get angry about it for me,” Regulus eased. “Trust me, I went through all that. And hey, I would have never have met you if I was some famous Hollywood actor, right? So it kind of works out, in its own way.”

“I don’t like your brother,” Severus gritted out. Regulus let out a huff of laughter at the declaration

“Join the club,” he muttered with a hint of bitter amusement. “Now, I do really want you to watch _The Matrix_. I know you don’t like movies, but for my sake, I need you to see it.”

Severus continued to scowl; he didn’t want to let this topic go. It seemed so abundantly unfair that Sirius Black could get away with treating his brother in that manner, and he deeply resented people like that. However, he had to respect Regulus’s wishes. He grudgingly let the topic slide.

“I can’t promise I’ll stay awake,” he called out as Regulus took their dishes to the sink. He heard the brightness of Regulus’s laughter and then moved over to the couch. Regulus had thrown the windows open, and a breeze gently wafted through the room.

Severus relaxed, watched about fifteen minutes of the movie, accidentally shut his eyes, and fell asleep.

**********************

That winter, Regulus convinced Severus to leave his closet of an apartment that he shared with three others and move into his spare guest room.

Severus had initially hated the idea of it; he resented charity, especially since he knew that never in a million lifetimes could he afford the rent of Regulus’s place. However, he had talked to Lily about it, and Regulus had insisted it wasn’t charity, just that he got lonely and his parents wanted him to have a friend around so he didn’t revert into some cave creature crouched over his computer twenty-three hours a day.

Severus only had to promise that he would have one five-minute conversation with Regulus per day, which hardly taxed, and that room with the windows facing the beach was his.

It still took Regulus and Lily weeks of convincing, but eventually, Severus relented and moved in.

He loved it. He was glad Regulus and Lily had remained so insistently annoying about it for he loved his little corner of space in which he could finally relax.

Still, he made sure to pay for groceries and tried to for utilities, but Regulus had shrugged and explained all the bills went to his family’s financial assistant anyway. Severus still left a fifty on their dining room every month just to feel like he had done something. Regulus took it without comment.

He loved it, of course, until he realized the Sirius Black also happened to know the address of the apartment and that he also liked to stop by - preferably at night and when Regulus happened to be away for a conference in San Francisco.

The knock had come late – nearing eleven. Severus had just brewed himself a cup of tea for he planned to curl up in his bed and read. He had hoped to finish his novel tonight and after a long week of research and class, greatly needed the quietude.

The knock startled him, and he spilled tea on his hand, cursing when it burned. He turned towards the door, apprehensive over who it could be so late on a Friday. However, he now understood that L.A. was _weird_ and that things that typically applied at home didn’t extend here.

He crossed the room, looked through the peephole, and muttered another cruse when he saw the handsome face of Sirius Black staring back. Not knowing what else to do, he unlocked the door and opened it.

“Black-,” he began, but Black pushed past him and sauntered over to the armchair. He collapsed into it, and Severus noticed the flask in his hand. He immediately tensed – he remembered – no, that was a long time ago, and he was no longer a child.

Besides the clear markers of drunkenness, Black still irritatingly looked attractive enough for Severus to feel dizzy. He had pulled his hair back in a sloppy bun, a black leather jacket hung from his shoulders, and he wore black ripped jeans and black combat boots. Severus swallowed hard; dear lord, how could anyone look like _that_?

Then he remembered how much he disliked Sirius Black and pushed the thought from his head.

“Regulus isn’t here,” Severus explained, closing the door behind him. He walked back over to the counter to pick up this mug. He took a sip, letting the hot liquid steady him, and leaned back onto the counter.

Black appeared to be breathing heavily as he stared at a spot on the floor in front of him.

“Where is he?”

“At a conference. In San Francisco. I can let him know you stopped by.”

Black shook his head, and after a moment of debate, took another swig from the flask. Severus winced. Black didn’t offer him any.

“So what the hell are you doing here?” he asked, voice surprisingly clear for the amount of alcohol he must have consumed.

“I live here now,” Severus stated simply, and when Black shifted to stare at him, he felt compelled to continue. “Reg wanted a roommate, and so he offered to let me move in with him.”

“Free-loading?” Black sneered, and Severus paled. He grinned, but it wasn’t kind. “It’s alright. I get it. People like you are all the same.”

“People like me?” he asked, working his jaw as his rage darkened the room. No, he thought, he had promised Lily to not lash out in anger. Yet something about Sirius Black set him off.

Black snorted. “Yeah, you climb on people like me and Reggie because you got nothing else and you want to feel famous,” he sneered. “Important. Special. And Reggie’s going to be the one who fucking suffers for it.”

Don’t be angry, Severus repeated as a mantra. Breathe. Calm down. What would Lily do?

“As I said before, your brother befriended me,” he tried, keeping his voice low and steady. “I couldn’t give less of a crap about Hollywood. I like Reggie as a person. He’s a good friend. I don’t know what your issue is, but you should probably leave.”

Black made a noise in the back of his throat, and he stood suddenly, crossing the space to lean over Severus. Severus stared coolly back at him, using every ounce of his will to appear as humanly unbothered as possible. The gray eyes searched his for a moment, and Black scowled.

“I don’t believe you.”

“Then what?” Severus hissed into the space between them. “You think I sought out your brother because I just can’t get enough of you? Because I saw your stupid movies and thought that made you important? Or are you so conceited that you have to make everything about you?”

He saw the rage flash in Black’s eyes, the anger contorting his face, and for one terrifying moment, he thought Black was going to hit him. Instead, Black only cursed and stumbled away. Severus nervously took a sip of his tea. Lily, he thought. What would she say?

“I’m sorry,” he said, softening his voice. “I don’t mean…James told me there was someone who-.”

At that, Black wheeled back towards him, his teeth bared. “Don’t speak about that,” he warned. “Don’t.”

Severus nodded and clutched his mug tighter. “I won’t. But I’m not that person. I’m not…I’m only just here for my Masters.”

To his surprise, Black laughed, the sound high-pitched and cruel. “Oh shit, I hadn’t realized,” he said mockingly and then paused and glanced around the room. “Fuck!” he suddenly yelled. He brought his hands to his head. “Fuck!”

Severus watched him warily. “Is there anyone I can-?”

“No, fuck!” Black cursed. “James can’t fucking know about this. I’ll call – fuck, I’ll call Peter.” He rounded back on Severus. “Don’t tell Reggie.”

“But-.”

“No, cause then everyone’s going to be talking about rehab again, and I’m not dealing with that shit. Look at me, Snape. You tell Reggie and I-.”

“Kill me?” Severus finished wirily, and Black only stared at him before pulling out his phone. He sent a text message, and because Severus couldn’t resist, “Would you like some tea?”

Black glanced back up at him, expression tightening in confusion. “Who the hell are you?”

“What -.”

“You. Who are you?” Black gestured wildly. “Who the hell doesn’t know who Bellatrix Black is? Fuck, poor kids in Africa know who Bellatrix Black is. Lost tribes in the Amazon, for fuck’s sakes. But you stare her in her face and pretend you don’t. Even – you didn’t recognize James, did you? Or Peter?”

Severus frowned. “James I think maybe? But no, not Peter.”

Black stepped closer to him and dropped his voice. “James is one of the most famous directors in the world. He’s won an Oscar. Peter is a comedy legend. I’m one of Hollywood’s biggest stars. Bellatrix and Narcissa are world-renowned models. So I’m asking – who the _hell_ are you?”

Severus thought for a moment, considering his tea. “Well, Severus Snape, if we want to be trite about it.”

Black stared at him with shock and then turned away from him, bringing a hand to his head. “Fuck, I need to get out of here. I seriously…Snape, Severus, whoever you are, you’re on some weird shit. Or you’re a fucking good liar. And like I’ve said-.”

“I hurt Reg, you kill me.” In that moment, Severus felt himself tipping towards something – a decision, perhaps, but really just words. Words that had festered in him with rage. Sorry Lily, he thought, but you don’t understand. Sirius Black is an asshole. “Funny, though,” he continued, keeping his voice light and thoughtful. “Bit hypocritical, if we’re going to be honest.”

Black kept his back towards, but Severus could see him stiffen. “See, if you really do want to hold true to that threat – anyone, of course, who harms Regulus deserves to die – then I just find odd that you’re still standing here. Because of course, from what I’ve gathered so far, is that you, so conceited in yourself, couldn’t let your brother have anything you had, huh? That how dare anyone try to rival your fame, even if you had to destroy your own brother’s childhood dreams?”

Severus knew he had gone too far when he saw Black’s hands curl into fists. He tensed for an attack, but Black remained rigid.

“You ever speak like that to me again, and I’ll cut your fucking tongue out, okay?” The threat carried insidiously across the room, and Severus knew, even if he had to fight against it with every ounce of will in his body, not to retort to something like that. Instead, they stood silently until Sirius’s phone buzzed, and with one more furious, hateful glare, he stalked back outside.

**********************

Severus didn’t tell Regulus, but he did tell Lily.

“He’s insane. There’s something wrong with him, Lily. He threatens me every conversation. Every conversation. I’ve received more death threats in the past few months than I have in my entire life.”

“Think he’ll carry through with them?” she asked, and even over the phone, Severus could tell she was suppressing laughter.

“Ha.Ha. So funny. Your best friend murdered by Sirius Black.”

Lily snorted. “Would be kind of funny, Sev. You go out to L.A., want to live a peaceful life studying Chemistry, and within a year, Sirius Black just happens to murder you. Wow, I know you hate him, Sev, but he really is _so_ good.”

Severus scowled and adjusted the phone against his ear. “As everyone’s been telling me. But just because he can look pretty and lie well doesn’t make him someone I need to like.”

“He really is so handsome, Sev. I used to have a crush on him in high school. Did you know that? Him in _Imprisoned?_ So good.”

“Lily, I call you expecting support for the fact that Sirius Black hates my guts because I happen to be friends with his very nice brother, and you tell me you have a crush on him.”

Lily laughed. “Sorry, I mean he’s horrible and awful and should go to jail for being such an awful person and because he looks really good in a prison uniform.”

“No one looks good in a prison uniform. It’s prison.”

He could feel Lily smirk. “Yeah, but have you seen him in one?”

“Goodbye,” Severus replied shortly. “Please don’t ever contact me again.” He heard Lily laugh as he hung up, and he smiled despite himself.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Don't make up your mind about Sirius Black just yet, we've got a lot more to come. 
> 
> Look forward to a new character in the next chapter! I'm trying to figure out where to end the chapter (cliff hanger vs. no cliff hanger), but it's a fun one regardless.
> 
> Thank you for reading!


	3. Strange Clouds

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to Nyxsnowwolf for beta-ing~

Severus was in the process of judging the local grocery store’s selection of apples and had just nixed one with a bruise when a man approached him.

The man searched lazily through the pile, but he stood too close for comfort, practically invading Severus’s space. He initially ignored him; he wasn’t the only person in the world who happened to like apples and wanted to shop in an overpriced health-focused grocery store. However as the man remained close, hands running over the apples, Severus felt his irritation flare. He turned to him to ask him to, kindly, back the fuck off.

He faltered when he saw the man’s face. It was the scars. The great slashes across the man’s face that crossed his cheek and edged onto his forehead. It looked as if a dog had brutally mauled him; Severus flushed at the shame of staring in shock.

Other than the vicious scars, the man had soft brown hair, warm brown eyes, and a nicely aligned face. He wore a blue t-shirt, and he looked about Severus’s age, likely another college student. He smiled when Severus met his gaze and it seemed to warm his entire face. Severus automatically wanted to like him, and he scowled, irritated at this man’s effect on him.

“Hey,” the man greeted, holding up an apple in his hand. “I’ve got a killer applesauce recipe if you want it.”

Severus stared at him and then turned back to the apples. “Lovely,” he responded drily, adding nothing else. The man huffed out a laugh and stuck out his hand.

“Moony,” he introduced when Severus grudgingly took it. Severus faltered again at the name; it was L.A., people had weird names. It wasn’t New York where people had maintained a semblance of sanity. Moony noticed and smiled bashfully. 

“Nickname,” he explained. “And you’re…”

“Minding my own business,” Severus replied shortly, irritated over his growing affinity for the man. Moony laughed, which only made Severus like him more. 

“Nice to meet you minding my own business. New to L.A.?”

Severus shrugged. “Moved here this past fall.”

“From let me guess – east coast? New York, right? You’ve got that ‘if you touch me, I’ll bite your face off’ attitude.”

“And you’re from L.A.?” Severus asked flatly, ignoring the veracity of Moony’s comment.

Moony nodded. “Yeah, born and raised. We’re about as rare as you get in L.A, you know, with all those people from New York moving in,” he huffed, rolling his eyes. Severus felt his lips twitch upwards, and he scowled deeper in response. Moony seemed to notice though as his smile grew easier.

“How are you liking it so far?”

“Hate it,” Severus answered bluntly. After a sun-filled winter, he missed the snow. And the cold. And the dark and the fact that no one would bother you in the grocery store.

“I bet,” Moony laughed. “I’ll be happy to try to convince you otherwise. If you want,” he added, smiling bashfully. 

“Don’t you dare tell me to go to the beach,” Severus grumbled.

“Not a fan?”

“I burn.”

Moony winced. “Fair enough. Nah, I would take you up into the mountains.”

Severus turned and stared at him evenly. “Is this an L.A. thing?”

“What?”

“To assault strangers in the grocery store?”

Moony grinned and flushed. “With people you don’t want to be strangers with.”

“Oh?”

“Here, I’ll give you my number. Come, don’t come, your choice. And I promise I’m not some crazy person.”

“Oh?” Severus repeated, arching an eyebrow.

“Maybe just a little crazy. Scars kind of give it away.” He gestured towards his face. “But not the murder you in the woods crazy.”

“Oh, shame,” Severus said, placing an apple in his cart. “That’s the type I am.”

Moony watched him for a moment, seeming unsure of how to respond. He ended up smiling and shaking his head. “Then I’ll look forward to my death this weekend.”

At that, Severus smiled and handed Moony his phone to exchange numbers.

Make friends, Lily had said. Well Lily, I’m doing exactly that.

**********************

Moony did take him up into the mountains. It was early morning when they had left, Moony showing up in a beaten Honda Civic. While L.A. traffic remained ever-present, it quieted as they exited the main highways and escaped into the winding streets of Santa Barabara.

They drove for a while, Moony putting on folk music that befit the ethereal feeling of escaping into the mountains. Finally, they reached the top of the climb. Moony pulled the car off to the side and gestured Severus out.

“Pretty amazing, huh?” Moony said with a smile, and even Severus and his pendency towards stoicism had to admit that Moony was right.

The mist from the ocean had yet to clear, drifting up as clouds. It coated the world below in a layer of fog. Up here, the sunlight streamed down and tried to push through the mist and into the world. The fog shifted and morphed like a living creature, inhaling and exhaling and drifting upwards before dissipating.

Severus felt like he had entered another world, one so far above the hollow center of L.A. or the cool green forests of New York. He had passed into the heavens, and staring down, he couldn’t help but gasp in awe.

“It feels like…it’s another world,” Severus murmured weakly.

“Yeah, it is. It’s magical.”

Severus nodded in agreement and took a few steps closer to the edge. He suddenly wanted to reach out and touch the clouds, to step out and walk through the sky. The clouds greeted him, pushing upwards and then back down. Severus watched, entranced.

“Not many people come up here. Most stick to the beach,” Moony explained. “Tourists, they go to Hollywood Boulevard or Venice Beach or whatnot. Loud and noisy and crowded. You can’t get away. But up here, it feels like you can be at peace. Like you can be miles away from the city and all those below, and that it's just you and the sky and air and…” he cut off, looking embarrassed at his poeticizing. Severus wanted to tell him he was right; it  _ did _ feel like that, and for the first time since arriving in L.A., he felt like he could breathe.

“Thank you,” Severus said earnestly, turning to Moony. “Really, thank you.”

Moony gave a small smile. “I’m glad you like it.”

Severus nodded and bit his lip. “It’s just…I miss the east coast. I miss New York. Everything here is bright and loud and hollow, but up here, it feels like…like I can breathe again, you know? That I’m someplace…”

Moony’s expression spoke of understanding. Severus stared out into the blanket of clouds.

“Would you ever want to leave?” he asked suddenly. He felt Moony startle beside him.

“Huh?”

“Leave L.A.? I know you said you were born here, but I was wondering if you…”

“Yeah,” Moony said, voice growing thick before coughing to clear it. “Yeah, every day I think of…of leaving.”

Severus looked at him curiously and tilted his head. “Why don’t you?”

Moony shrugged, staring out into the horizon. “I’ve got something I need to do here first. Can’t leave until I do.”

“Oh?”

“Yeah,” Moony said, running his hand through his hair. He continued to stare out onto the horizon but didn’t elaborate. Severus cursed himself at his awkwardness; clearly, Moony didn’t want to talk about this. Still, he couldn’t help but wonder over what tied Moony to this city.

“How about you?” Moony asked, voice careful as if asking for forgiveness for his secrecy. “Planning to go back to New York anytime soon?”

“I have to finish my Master’s first.”

“Masters?”

“In Chemistry. I’m at UCLA right now. I’m not entirely sure what I’ll do after, but I think I would like to move back east. My best friend is in Boston right now, and I would like to go back to be close to her, if I can.”

“What’s her name?”

“Lily. We’ve been friends since we were kids. She’s probably the best thing in my life.”

Moony smiled at that. “That special?”

Severus nodded. “She’s amazing. Got into Harvard Medical School. That kind of amazing.”

“I didn’t know you’re friends with geniuses. I wonder what that makes me.” Moony winked, causing Severus to roll his eyes.

“Still an annoying stranger in a grocery store as far as I can tell.”

Moony laughed and gestured back to the car. “Come on, I know a really great coffee shop. Fancy some?”

Severus couldn’t fight the grin on his face as he followed Moony back to the car. Their conversation drifted as they descended through the clouds.

**********************

Saturday outings with Moony quickly became a regular feature for the next few weeks. They went hiking in the mountains and up to Malibu (too much beach, Severus hated it) and down to Laguna (slightly better). They went to small coffee shops and tracked down food trucks. Throughout it all, Severus found he quite liked Moony.

Moony listened well and had a witty sense of humor. He had read a great deal, so Severus finally had someone to talk to about his favorite novels. He also seemed to possess a negligible interest in Hollywood, which Severus also appreciated. While he had yet to have another run-in with Sirius Black, his dislike of the man hadn’t waned.

Regulus had teased Severus about his newfound friend and his adventurous weekly outings. He tried hard to guess the identity of this mystery man who had taken Severus all over L.A. He asked if he was cute, and Severus had scowled. He asked if they planned to get married in Newport or Santa Barbara, and Severus had smacked him with a book.

Regulus had extended an invitation to Moony to join them for dinner one night, to which Moony declined. He would be out of town, he said. Regulus had amended it to the following weekend, but Moony had to visit his parents in San Diego. Severus tried not to think too much about the constant excuses; Moony had befriended him, and he struggled to believe that Moony would be so opposed to meeting Regulus.

Regardless, he found he liked Moony a great deal. He didn’t exactly find himself opposed to what Regulus teased him about: the friendship turning into something more. For now, though, Moony seemed quite settled as friends.

**********************

In the middle of spring, that all changed.

Two things happened.

First, Sirius Black stopped by the apartment again.

It had just neared five o’clock. Severus had sprawled out his chemistry textbook and notebooks on the dining room table to study for an upcoming midterm. He heard the knock and grudgingly stood up, internally groaning when he saw Black’s stunning face.

He let Black in and retreated immediately to the kitchen table, assuming Black would head directly to his brother’s room. Instead, he followed Severus and sat heavily across from him. He looked earnest and clasped his hands together, bending his head forward in the perfect picture of contrition.

“I wanted to say I’m sorry,” he apologized, shocking Severus. “About last time. It was a long week, you know, the deal. Shouldn’t have said those things to you.”

“You think?” Severus responded drily. Black ran a hand over his face and sat back.

“Yeah, death threats don’t really come across well. But you gotta understand, I’m just worried about Reggie.”

“I’m really not trying to-.”

“I know that now,” Black conceded. “Hard to know, though. In the beginning at least. Uhh, but either you’re playing some crazy long game or you’re telling the truth.”

“Black-,”

“I get it,” Black said, raising his hands, “Not everything’s about me.”

Severus stared at him expectantly, and Black sighed.

“So yeah, sorry about that. I would say you have my permission to remain friends with Reggie, but I feel like you might attack me then.”

“I would.”

“Then I won’t say that.” Black extended his hand. “New start?”

Severus regarded his perfect hand and thought for a moment. He still didn’t like Black, doubted he ever would, but at least they could be respectful towards each other. For Regulus’s sake, if nothing else. “Fine,” he agreed and then gripped Black’s hand in his own. They shook hands, and Severus felt an innate thrill at touching someone so stunningly handsome. It headed to his groin, and through sheer will, he wrenched it back up.

“Reggie’s in his room?” Black asked, standing up. Severus nodded, and Black left him, opening the door to Regulus’s room and closing it behind him. He could hear voices, so Severus put in his headphones and tried to settle the rush of his heartbeat.

**********************

The second thing that happened involved Moony.

Lily had been pressuring Severus to get a photo of him as she so wanted to see this mystery man that had managed to break past Severus’s prickly exterior. Since he knew nothing more than the man’s nickname, a search on social media proved fruitless. He frowned when he realized he had nothing to prove Moony’s existence; however, he figured it was some L.A. thing. People were weird here, and he wasn’t one to pry.

It had taken a friendly tourist offering to take their photo at the Santa Monica pier for Severus to finally have his photo. Moony had seemed uncomfortable about it, but he couldn’t refuse the tourist’s enthusiastic offer, especially since Severus eagerly played along.

He sent the picture to Lily when he got back to the apartment, sprawling out on his bed as he thought over the surfers and the ice cream, and that atrocious burrito Moony had talked him into trying. The one, he shuddered, in which someone had decided to add French fries. He felt half-convinced L.A. didn’t have to be absolutely terrible.

Then Lily called.

“Sev?” she asked, and Severus had tensed at her tone – the wariness and hesitance. “Severus, this is Moony right?”

“Yes.”

“Oh, and do you know anything else-?”

“Lily, what’s wrong?”

“Sev, I’m not trying to, but I showed him to a friend. Alice Longbottom? It doesn’t – doesn’t matter, but she said she recognized him. Or at least thought she did.”

“Hmm?” Severus felt a bolt of dread sink into his stomach. Lily continued.

“Yeah, he used to be in a show she used to watch. That’s why the scars – but, his – fuck.”

“What?”

“Fuck. I’m so sorry, Sev. Shit, shit, shit.”

“Lily.”

“I googled him. Oh, Sev. Fuck.”

“Lily, tell me what’s wrong.” He felt sick and shut his eyes, unwilling to look into the harsh L.A. sunlight.

“I – have you heard of anyone named Remus Lupin?”

“Yes,” he exhaled through his teeth. Remus Lupin. Avoid him, James Potter had said.

“Oh, you have?” Lily asked hesitantly.

“Yes,” Severus exhaled again. “What is it?”

“He – well, he actually used to be in a show with Sirius Black.  _ Howl of the Wolf _ ? God, Sev, and then shit. Shit.”

“Lily.”

“He was attacked on set. By a wolf. The director – Fenrir Greyback? – wanted wolves on set for the show, and one got out or something, and it mauled him.” He heard her gasp. “Those scars? Oh, Jesus. Severus.” She paused, “Wait, how do you know of him?”

Severus felt like he spoke from someplace far away. “He befriended Regulus to get to Black. They had to get a restraining order. He’s been using me.” He stated bluntly and felt ill. Moony had seemed so welcoming. So friendly. Yet, it had all been an act. A ruse to use him to get to Sirius Black.

He suddenly thought he understood why Sirius Black had so adamantly protected Regulus Black. Nothing tasted more bitter than getting used.

“Oh,” Lily forced out, sounding choked at the understanding. “Oh, geez. Has he ever mentioned…?”

Severus shook his head and then remembered he had to speak. “No, he didn’t,” he replied blandly, doing his best to push away the feeling of betrayal and shame. “Never talked about him.”

“So…?” She sounded hopeful, but Severus could only taste bitter defeat.

“No. Too coincidental. He wouldn’t just have happened to approach me. It had to be for…”

Lily remained silent for a moment. Severus distantly thought his breathing sounded far too loud.

“I’m sorry, Sev,” she finally said. “I’m so sorry.”

“It’s alright,” he replied flatly, even though he felt very far from alright. “I should go.” He heard her begin to protest, but before he could rethink, he pulled the phone away from his ear and hung up.

He stared at his ceiling for a long time and thought of Remus Lupin and Moony and how much he hated L.A.

And how much it all hurt.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Uh oh and the plot thickens...
> 
> Lots of good writing lately and much love for this story. 
> 
> Thank you, thank you!


	4. Subdued Wind

It took two weeks before Moony – or as Severus supposed with a bitter taste in his mouth – for  _ Remus  _ to track him down.

It had been two weeks of blocking Remus’s number, two weeks of entering every grocery store on-edge, and two weeks of the parasitic shame over his gullibility and the scathing scythe of betrayal. 

How could he have been so  _ stupid _ ? People didn’t just befriend him – he didn’t possess Lily’s natural charm or Regulus’s friendly manner. He was unattractive and strange, and Remus Lupin had preyed on it and on him.

It hurt more for not only did he have to hate himself for it, he also had the gall to miss the man. He had, he admitted ashamedly, liked Moony. He liked Moony’s soft brown eyes and the way he would listen and how he hated the city but still tried to show Severus the beauty in it. He had found a kindred soul in Moony who still read books and ignored Hollywood and hated the beach but loved the mountains.

Of course, he now knew Moony had lied through his teeth. He no longer knew what had been genuine or just an act for Moony to get close to him. He wondered how long Remus had planned to wait before asking him about Regulus or Sirius.

Sirius Black would have killed him, he thought with an ironic twitch of his lips. All of his promises and assurances that he would never hurt Regulus or use him for him just to befriend Remus Lupin and lead him straight to the brothers.

What a fool.

The only solace he had was that with Remus Lupin promptly cut out his life, he could now continue as normal. He had to; he had no other option but to move forward and forget the embarrassment and hurt at the betrayal.

Lily had apologized profusely, feeling somewhat responsible for the distressing turn of events. Severus refused to accept it; it would have come out eventually, and he was just glad it was with her and in the privacy of his apartment.

And now, all he had to do was move forward and forget about Remus Lupin.

Unfortunately, Remus had decided to make it difficult for him.

Since Remus could no longer reach his number, he had taken the liberty to show up one Saturday morning to await outside the apartment door. Severus had had him pick him up at the address several times on their Saturday adventures. Now all of Remus’s refusals to come up to the apartment for a drink or some food made sense.

Severus had just returned from one of his early morning walks when he saw Remus Lupin outside of his apartment door. He tensed and stared at Remus, who leaned against the wall and appeared to be breathing heavily. He looked over, and when he caught sight of Severus, his eyes widened. He opened his mouth.

Severus cut him off. “I don’t want to hear it,” he ordered coolly, surprising himself at the amount of control he had over his voice. “I would like you to leave and never contact me again.”

Remus flinched and looked worriedly at Severus. “What-?”

“I know who you are,” Severus stated, ignoring the jack-hammer beat of his heart. “I know what you tried to do with Regulus. I want no business in it. So please, do me a favor, and leave.”

“You-I,” Remus stuttered out, raising his hands in an apologetic gesture. “Severus, it’s not-.”

“I said  _ leave _ ,” Severus snarled, and Remus flinched again at his anger. Then he took a deep breath and straightened himself out, lifting his head as if trying to embody some measure of courage. 

“You don’t-there’s more going on than you think there is. It’s about Sirius Black, but it’s more-.”

“All I know is that you used me.”

Remus shook his head and stared at Severus. “No, no, that wasn’t-.”

“It was, wasn’t it Moony?” Severus asked, curling his tongue around the juvenile nickname with distaste. He felt gratified when he saw Remus blanch.

“No, Severus, I thought you could help. I was never going to use you.”

“And yet you did,” Severus continued, dropping his voice an octave. “I don’t care about Sirius Black. I don’t care about you. I want you to leave and never come back.” He pointedly avoided Remus as he walked past him and moved to unlock the apartment door. He could hear Remus’s haggard breathing and sense the desperation radiating off him. Yet, he didn’t care and he didn’t stop.

He felt Remus jerk behind him as if he had stopped himself half-way from grabbing Severus’s shoulder. “Severus, please.”

Severus tried not to note the sheer distress in his voice and ignored him. When he finally shut the door behind him, he locked it and slid to the floor. His hands were shaking, much to his annoyance. 

He heard Remus leave after another few minutes. When he looked down, he noticed a slip of paper Remus must have slid underneath the door. Severus picked it up, distantly aware that he should ignore it yet unable to deny his curiosity.

_ I’m sorry,  _ it read.  _ Should have never lied to you. And I really did like you, Severus. That wasn’t a lie. _

_ There’s more going on than you can possibly imagine. Look up Fenrir Greyback. _

_ They set that wolf on me. I was eleven. _

_ They have done far worse. _

_ If you want to help – to do some good – call me. I promise I’m not that type of crazy. _

**********************

Severus couldn’t help himself. He looked up Fenrir Greyback.

A prominent director and still producing work. He had an action-thriller releasing this year, and his recent work –  _ One with the Pack _ – had received accolades among the horror community for being frighteningly gory and tarrying in one man’s descent into madness.

Severus scanned over the recent headlines – an interview with Entertainment that he briefly read over:

_ “And you still use wild animals on set?” _

_ “I know there are those who want us to move entirely to CGI. Nowadays, it’s just actors walking around in green boxes and pretending at things that don’t exist [Laughter]. Now, with live animals – and of course, we follow the guidelines and provide them the best care possible – the actors actually have something to act against. And it provides for far better performances.” _

_ “And yet on Howl of the Wolf-“ _

_ Greyback shakes his head with the deepest of regret. “A terrible accident. That poor boy. We have done everything since to ensure that an accident such as that never happens again.” _

A refined google search: Howl of the Wolf + attack.

_ ELEVEN YEAR BOY ATTACKED BY WOLF. _

_ Eleven-year-old child-star Remus Lupin was viciously attacked by a wolf on the set of the popular television show, Howl of the Wolf. _

_ Parents have yet to comment. _

_ Co-star Sirius Black, also eleven…no comment…Orion and Walburga Black express their deepest condolences to the Lupins. With the cancellation of the show, Sirius Black will star in Riddle’s newest feature… _

_ Caretaker charged…Grayback receives fine for negligence on set…no jail time…wolf put down… _

Another search: Remus Lupin

_ Ur fave child stars: now and then!!! _

_ Sirius Black: made famous by the show Howl of the Wolf, he’s now one of Hollywood’s most desired actors! After starring in several of Riddle’s amazing films, he now works almost exclusively with the dreamy James Potter. His recent film, Through the Veil, is not worth missing! I know we all cried, someone give that man an Oscar!!! _

_ Dorcas Meadows…Bellatrix Black… _

_ Bellatrix Black: sooo hot and we all know it! She started modeling early (that Black dynasty doesn’t mess around) and she and her sister quickly conquered the world! There’s probably not a single person who doesn’t know who she is, and if there is, they need to rethink their life! She’s also started acting and is an accomplished businesswoman – queen! _

_ Narcissa Black…Remus Lupin. _

_ Remus Lupin: We all remember him co-starring alongside the super handsome Sirius Black in Howl of the Wolf! Unfortunately, he was also attacked by a wolf on set and horribly scarred as a result. Because of that, he’s disappeared from the acting world, and no one really knows what he’s doing or what he’s up to – however, we hope he’s doing well! Maybe one day we’ll get to see him again!! _

A third search: Howl of the Wolf Accident purposeful?

A Reddit page –

_ So like does anyone think that what happened on Howl of the Wolf with Remus Lupin was just an accident or something more? Grayback just gives me the chills. _

\-  _There’s definitely something wrong with him – no one creates the movies he does without being whacked in the head – but to set a wolf on a boy? Idk man that’s pretty messed up_

\-  _I wouldn’t be so sure. My friend worked on the set and he thinks something definitely happened. Grayback would spend a lot of time with the two boys and it seemed like in the days before the “accident” something happened between him and Remus…idk, i wouldn’t be surprised if he had done something_

\-  _But to set a wolf on a boy??_

\-  _Ok but what about Sirius Black? What was he doing?_

\-  _Is it just me or does Sirius Black seem like an asshole?_

\-  _Lmao yeah but a really hot asshole._

\-  _And an asshole that can actually act_

\-  _What you think Sirius Black was in on it? He was eleven._

\-  _I know, I know, just wish I could have been there. Don’t feel like we ever got the full story_

\-  _Yeah, honestly just hope that Remus Lupin is doing alright. Horrible thing to happen to a kid._

A phone call with Lily.

“I don’t know what to do.”

“Severus, I’m so sorry.”

“I think…”

“Yeah?”

“I feel like I should talk to him, right? If he’s right about this.”

“But?”

“But I don’t want to. He lied to me, Lils.”

“I know. Think about it, okay? You don’t have to decide now.”

“Yeah…I…okay, okay thanks.”

“Sev…” 

“What?”

“You know you’re my best friend right? That I love you?”

“Thanks, I…I miss you.”

“Miss you too. You’ll be alright. I promise.”

**********************

Severus didn’t call Remus back, but he kept the note pressed among the pages of one of his books. Remus, fortunately, didn’t try to confront him again, and Severus’s life once again regained a semblance of normality.

Lily made plans to visit him over the summer, and Severus couldn’t suppress his excitement at seeing her again. After having her by his side for so many years, her absence cut sharply against his skin. She also possessed a far greater insight into people than Severus did, and he hoped she could make some sense of what exactly was going on in his life.

Regulus beamed at the thought of meeting her, gushing about how excited he was to finally meet Severus’s childhood friend. Severus had rolled his eyes at Regulus’s excessive excitement, but even he couldn’t deny how much he appreciated Regulus’s enthusiasm. After feeling used for the past few weeks, he greatly needed the reminder that he did have people in his life who genuinely liked him.

He hoped that until Lily arrived, he could remain firmly away from the drama that threatened to ruin his nice, ordered life. In New York, he would have been able to.

L.A. had different plans for him.

It was Regulus’s idea. A party to celebrate the end of the school year. To rejoice in their survival. To exult in their successes.

Severus couldn’t refuse, which is how he found himself sitting next to quite possibly the most beautiful woman in the world while Regulus perched beside him, laughing loudly and clearly drunk, and Sirius Black regarded them coolly from an armchair.

“ _ You,” _ the most beautiful woman in the world exclaimed. “You were the one who didn’t know my sister.”

“I…” Severus began bashfully, trying very hard to fight against his blush. “I, well…”

“She was furious,” the woman laughed. “She’s never had anyone pretend not to know her before.”

“Oh, well I really didn’t,” Severus corrected, “I don’t follow this stuff.” The woman arched her perfect eyebrow.

“Oh?” she questioned, “and do you know who I am?”

Severus did know, he had to admit. It had been all those hours researching the Black family while trying to figure out if a prominent director had indeed set a wolf on an eleven-year boy. “Narcissa Black?” he asked. Narcissa smiled with shining white teeth.

“Call me Cissa,” she responded, flicking her gleaming silver hair behind her the elegant curve of her shoulder. “And you, I believe, are Severus?”

Severus nodded, tearing his gaze away from how Narcissa’s hair shined in the half-light.

“He’s the best,” Regulus gushed, leaning over Severus. Sirius took a drink from his glass, eyes flickering between Severus and Regulus.

“Really?” Narcissa asked, focusing on Severus. Severus thought he might faint under her gaze. He had left New York and entered a godly heaven.

“I, ah, wouldn’t go that far,” Severus modified, and he noted Sirius’s snort. Narcissa glanced over at him and then back to Severus. She tilted her head as if considering something and then smiled again, which made the world beyond her blur.

“Don’t be so bashful,” she crooned, and Severus distantly watched as she extended her hand to rest it on his forearm. But it couldn’t be  _ his _ forearm.

“Cissy,” Sirius seemed to warn, causing Narcissa to sigh. Regulus noticed and jumped in.

“Yeah, also he’s kind of got someone, don’t you, Sev?”

“Huh?” Severus asked dumbly, barely even able to recognize that someone like Narcissa Black was touching him. “Do you mean Lily?” he asked when he found his mouth could work again.

“Lily?” Narcissa asked, crystalline blue eyes peering at Severus curiously. “And who’s this Lily?”

“No,” Regulus answered before Severus could respond. “Not Lily – Moony!” Noticing Severus’s shock, he continued, “Oh come on, you guys go out every Saturday, and I bet he’s really cute.”

“He’s-,” Severus began to protest when he felt Sirius’s gaze bore into him.

“Moony?” Sirius growled, and Severus knew he knew. For whatever reason, Moony had never shared his nickname with Regulus, but clearly, Sirius seemed to know. Fuck, he thought. After all his assurances.

“Who’s Moony?” Narcissa leaned forward, and suddenly Severus needed air. He had to get out; everything had become too much.

“He’s- actually, we’re not friends anymore,” Severus responded, and he felt Regulus shift behind him.

“What? You aren’t? What happened?” Regulus asked, sounding concerned, yet Severus couldn’t shake the feeling of Sirius’s eyes boring into him. He dreaded what the man would say. Yet, he needed to get out. The air had grown thin in this overly hot space.

“Actually do you mind if I go to the bathroom? I just have to-,” he said, stumbling upward. He ignored Regulus’s concerned stare. He pretended to make for the bathroom before discreetly sticking to the walls and slipping out to the small balcony. He pushed past who he now recognized as Peter Pettigrew and a gorgeous blonde, and then he was out and free and could get some air into his lungs.

He could taste the salty tang of the ocean and hear the distant crash of waves. He let the sound wash over him as he tried to steady his racing heart. For a few precious moments, it was just him and the feel of the ocean and the moon hidden by a few wisps of clouds.

And then it was him and Sirius Black.

“What. The. Fuck?” Sirius Black demanded, sliding the door shut beside him. Severus shifted away from the railing and pulled out a cigarette, lighting it with trembling fingers.

“I didn’t know.”

Sirius snorted. “Is that supposed to matter? After all this, all that you said-.”

“He fucking lied to me,” Severus hissed, shakily taking a drag from the cigarette and exhaling a plume of smoke. The action offered a measure of calm. He ignored Lily’s internal berating that it would give him lung cancer. Tonight, he needed this.

“Oh? Did he now?” Sirius said with an ugly grimace of a smile. 

“Yes,” Severus continued. “Yes, he used me like he used your brother. It was shitty, and I understand what you mean.”

“You don’t understand anything,” Sirius said harshly. Severus felt his blood run cold at the tone and the look in his eyes.

“I’m not here to hurt your brother,” Severus assured once again to Sirius’s distrustful look. “I didn’t want to get caught up with any of this. I didn’t even know – he was just someone named Moony.”

“Yeah, cause James told you, didn’t he? To stay the fuck away from him?”

Severus quieted and nodded, taking another drag of the cigarette. “I-,” he began, but Sirius interrupted him, taking another step forward.

“Did he tell you anything?” he suddenly demanded, his voice edging on panicked. Severus did a double-take at the man standing before him; Sirius Black no longer affected his arrogant demeanor. Instead, he could see something in his eyes that reminded him of-.

“No. I mean, yes.”

“No, I mean yes?” Sirius mocked, yet through the dismissive tone, Severus caught the hint of something else. Fear, he thought. Something that Remus knew frightened Sirius Black.

“He…he left me a note saying that the accident on your show wasn’t an accident. It was purposeful, something Greyback did. And he said there was worse going on.”

“What-what else?” Sirius forced out between now labored breaths. He shut his eyes, cheeks gaining a chalky pallor. It didn’t suit him.

“Just that,” Severus replied. “He…he wants to meet with me again. But I haven’t-.”

“Don’t,” Sirius demanded, “Don’t meet with him. P-promise me.”

“Hey,” Severus asked, softening his voice in the face of Sirius’s now evident panic. “What’s wrong? What’s-.”

“Just-fuck-fuck, um, um, can you-,” he gasped, stumbling forward and clutching at his chest. “Fuck-I think-my c-chest.”

For one horrifying moment, Severus thought Sirius Black was having an honest to god heart attack in front of him. And then he felt his own chest constrict in the phantom of the panic attacks he used to suffer from as a child, when his life still felt like a nightmare and he could still hear his father’s voice and smell the alcohol on his breath, no matter what he did.

His mom would try to guide him through it, but they always left him exhausted and feeling like death had extended its claws around his thin, weak body.

Sirius Black collapsing to his knees as he clutched his chest and gasped for air jolted him out of his thoughts. He immediately sunk to his own knees, and then remembering what his mom did to help, and trying not to think of the fact that this was Sirius fucking Black and that until now, they most decidedly hated each other, wrapped an arm around Sirius’s shoulders and pulled him towards him.

Sirius complied, collapsing forward so that he rested on his hands, head in Severus’s lap as he lay sprawled out on the balcony. Severus glanced at the door and noted with relief that Sirius had slid the blinds shut. He wondered distantly if Sirius had planned to follow through with his threats and push him off the balcony. How amusing, he thought. He would probably make the news.

He refocused on Sirius who lay trembling, body tense and hands weakly pushing away from Severus. Severus, very carefully, began to pet Sirius’s hair, running his fingers through the silken strands. Sirius shuddered at the movement, but he stopped trying to push away.

Severus, remembering again his mom and how she would hold him in bed and sing him lullabies, threw himself into one of his favorites – an ancient Romani song that had passed through his mother’s family for generations. His father had hated anything Romani, so while Severus could sing it well enough, he didn’t understand the words. 

He started slowly, unsure if his voice would break or not. When it didn’t, he continued, letting the song drift through the night. Lily had always loved his voice on the very few occasions she could coerce him into singing for her. It was his mom, he had told her. They would always sing around the house when Father wasn’t home.

Now, he was grateful for his mom’s penchant for song. It took some time, but he could feel Sirius’s breathing even out and his muscles abet in their trembling. Severus continued to gently stroke Sirius’s hair, fingers brushing through the strands and around the curve of his ear and scratching gently at his scalp. He had the sense that he held the head of a god in his lap – Sirius Black’s beauty was nothing to balk at – and the thought turned the whole situation surreal.

He continued to sing, his deep voice drifting over the ancient words. When the one song ended, he started another. In the song, he remembered his mom’s voice and her long, dark hair that she would let Severus brush and the feel of her rocking him in bed, awaking him from yet another nightmare when his skin crawled with roaches and his lungs shriveled and died.

He worried greatly that someone would slide open the door and expose them to the debauchery of the party. This moment, with Sirius collapsed on the ground and Severus’s hands carding through his hair, felt deeply vulnerable, even intimate. To have it so crudely disrupted – he shuddered at the thought of Regulus’s earnest gaze peering through the doorway or Bellatrix’s sharp, beautiful eyes coolly taking in the scene.

Fortunately, no one interrupted them, and when Severus finished the song, the sound fading into the city streets, Sirius gingerly pushed himself upwards. He kept his face pointed downward. He brought his knees up to his chest, wrapping his arms around them to pull them close.

Severus averted his gaze and waited for Sirius to speak.

“Where-,” Sirius started, voice gravelly and verging on exhausted. “Where’d you learn that song?”

Severus twisted his hands in his lap and leaned back against the railing to look up into the sky. Still no stars, he thought. “My mom,” he answered quietly.

“Oh,” Sirius continued, and Severus realized he could feel his body warmth and dimly recognized how closely they sat together. “Oh, what-?”

“It’s Romani,” Severus explained. “My mom’s Roma and these songs were passed down through her family for generations. They’re…,” he paused, considering how much he wanted to say, yet he felt strangely comfortable with Sirius. “She used to sing them to me when I was…” he rubbed at his face, “when I would…when this would happen to me.”

He heard Sirius’s understanding in his small oh. Neither spoke for a long moment as if they were both trying to figure out a way to navigate this conversation without hurting the other.

“Do you know what they mean?” Sirius finally asked. Severus glanced over towards him and saw that even though Sirius kept his knees to his chest, he had raised his head and now looked at Severus with what had to be vulnerability in his eyes. He looked so far away from his usual demeanor of rugged, intrinsic arrogance that Severus could scarcely believe they were the same man.

“I…the first one was about a lost boy finding his way home and the second about two lovers forced apart and then reunited. My mom, she wanted to teach me the language, but my father hated all of it. So I know a few words, but not…”

“Oh, okay,” Sirius said softly when Severus trailed off. “They’re beautiful. And you have a very nice voice.”

“Thanks,” Severus replied, tracing a pattern into his jeans. He suddenly felt bashful, unsure of how to talk to Sirius now that they didn’t seem to be threatening each other.

Sirius glanced back up to the curtained door and sighed. It appeared that the party still raged on, and Severus suddenly balked at going back inside. He wanted quietude and the solace of his room and time to think. Certainly not Narcissa Malfoy inching closer and closer.

Sirius noticed and tilted his head towards Severus. “You can come back to mine, if you want. I know…the party’s probably not going to end for another few hours.”

“I don’t want to-,” Severus protested, but Sirius cut him off.

“You’re not. Trust me.”

The earnestness in Sirius’s voice smothered his objections, and he nodded. Sirius slowly stood, rubbing a hand across his face. He then reached down and extended his hand for Severus to take. The shift in their relationship made him feel unmoored, but he took the hand and let Sirius pull him up.

After a moment to collect themselves and an apologetic smile from Sirius, they left the balcony and walked back into the apartment. Sirius moved immediately towards the door, ignoring Bellatrix’s gesture for him to join her conversation with a man Severus didn’t recognize. He kept his gaze down, so only Severus saw James’ worried glance in their direction.

Severus also realized that a quick beeline to the exit meant he wouldn’t have any time to grab clothes or his toiletries. He reached out to grab Sirius’s elbow to pull him to a stop.

“What?” Sirius asked, voice low and gruff.

“My clothes. Toothbrush,” Severus explained quickly.

“I have extra.”

“But-.”

“Nah, it’s alright. You can borrow my stuff and return it later. Trust me, we’ll get roped into a conversation if we don’t leave immediately.”

As if to prove his point, he caught sight of Dorcas moving through the crowd in their direction. Sirius noticed and hissed out a curse, so Severus, relinquishing his objections, pushed lightly against Sirius’s elbow to drive him forward.

For a brief moment, it didn’t seem as if they would make it – Severus also saw Peter heading towards them– but then they were outside. Sirius grinned and for an exhilarating moment, they both broke into a run, rushing down the stairs and laughing at the bottom.

“Sorry,” Sirius managed between his laughter, but Severus shook his head, shoulders shaking with a gleeful mixture of mirth and adrenaline.

They waited for their laughter to subside, Sirius’s gaze once again bright and Severus unable to hide his smile. Then, Sirius led him outside and headed straight to a motorcycle.

“Oh no,” was all Severus could say. Sirius paused and turned back to him.

“Something wrong?”

“I’m not getting on that,” he said, regarding the motorcycle with faint horror.

“Why not?” Sirius asked, the easy grin still on his face.

“I don’t want to die tonight.”

“I’m not going to kill you,” Sirius laughed and then smiled guiltily when Severus shot him a disbelieving look. “Okay, alright, I won’t kill you like this.”

“Black…” Severus warned, causing Sirius to raise an eyebrow.

“Black?”

Severus scowled. “Yes, Black. Now, I’m not getting on this abomination of vehicular transportation. I quite like all my limbs.”

“Abomination of vehicular transportation,” Sirius mouthed with amusement. Shaking his head, he unlocked two helmets that hung off the bike. “Come on, cut your whining. The rides only ten minutes. You’ll be fine.”

Severus grimaced. “Just so you know,” he added, still staring warily at the bike. “If anything happens to me, you’ll have to deal with my friend Lily, and she’s probably one of the most terrifying people in the world.”

Sirius stared at him bemused. “Lily, huh? Alright, I’ll keep that in mind. Now get on.” He handed one of the helmets to Severus who begrudgingly took it. He eyed Sirius’s matching helmet.

“Why do you have two?” he asked, almost accusingly. Sirius shrugged and grinned.

“In case I meet someone I want to take home.” At Severus’s expression, he laughed. “Don’t worry. This wasn’t some elaborate plan for me to seduce you.”

Severus scowled again and glared at Sirius. “It better not be,” he grumbled and sick of Sirius’s face, he pulled on the helmet, struggling to adjust it properly around his head.

“Here, let me,” Sirius offered, taking a step forward. Severus jerked back, glaring angrily into the blackness of the helmet.

“You’re not seducing me,” he growled, and after another moment, managed to get the helmet to sit somewhat properly on his head. His scowl didn’t relent upon seeing Sirius' expression. 

“Good?” he asked, seeming to stifle a laugh.

“Fine,” Severus conceded, still glaring at the motorcycle. “Let’s get this over with.”

He grudgingly let Sirius help him on the bike and position him so that he clung onto Sirius’s muscled chest. He took off with a rev, and Severus managed to barely suppress his shout of surprise as the motorcycle veered into the street.

Sirius Black drove like a mad man and for one gut-wrenching moment, Severus thought he was going to die. Just after Sirius swerved to miss the car, he accelerated, and Severus cleanly saw his life flash before his eyes. He hung on for dear life, pressing his face into Sirius's back, not wanting to see the grim reaper grinning fifty-feet away. 

Finally,  _ finally, _ Sirius slowed to a stop, putting down the kickstand and cutting the engine. Severus managed to dislodge his death-grip around Sirius. He tried to step off the motorcycle, legs trembling, and nearly collapsed in the process.

Sirius reached out to steady him as he gracefully got off the motorcycle and stood on much sturdier legs. With his other hand, Sirius unstrapped the helmet and gently lifted it off Severus’s head.

“Never again,” Severus gasped as Sirius grinned. “Never – never again.”

“You’re still alive, aren’t you?”

“Barely,” he muttered, yanking his arm away from Sirius. “How are  _ you  _ still alive?”

“Because I am an excellent driver,” Sirius explained, as if obvious. “Come on,” he said, slinging his arm over Severus’s shoulder. “You’re still alive. No lost limbs. And I learned how to drive like this on an action film. Wanted to do my own stunts. So, not to brag, but you really weren’t going to die.”

“I was,” he protested, causing Sirius to smirk.

When his legs had steadied enough, Sirius led him up to his apartment.

The first thing he saw was a literal bear rushing at him. He jerked back in fear, hitting Sirius’s chest as the bear ran around them and wagged its tail affectionately. 

“Hey, hey,” Sirius laughed, reaching down to pet the massive black dog. “This is Padfoot,” he said. Severus regarded it distastefully as it slobbered on Sirius’s hand. “He’s a good dog,” Sirius cooed. The dog wagged its tail harder as if he understood and agreed enthusiastically. It moved to sniff at Severus, who watched it warily given the fact that it could probably knock him over if it liked. 

“Here,” Sirius said, noticing Severus’s discomfort. “Padfoot, bedroom,” he ordered, moving his hands in such a way that the dog stopped and then dashed off into an adjacent room, nearly knocking a lamp over in the process. Sirius laughed and walked into the apartment. 

The apartment itself was large and modern, with a beautiful leather couch dominating the living room. The whole side wall acted as a window, providing a breath-taking view of the Hills. It looked straight out of a magazine, but Severus couldn’t shake the feeling that Sirius hadn’t done anything to make it a home. Besides the leather couch, nothing seemed to speak to his personality, beyond the soulless modernity that had swept over the interior design scene.

Still, it was a stunning apartment, especially given its location in L.A. Severus couldn’t hide his look of mild awe, which Sirius noticed with a smile.

“Nice, huh? I’ve got a guestroom, so you can sleep there. There’s toiletries already stocked, and I can give you some of my clothes.”

“Thanks,” Severus muttered, scanning around the space. The place exuded an emptiness the two of them couldn’t disrupt.

Sirius nodded. “Um, yeah, so I have to be up early tomorrow, but you can walk or uber back if I’m not here. Or if you don’t want to get on my motorcycle again. Uh, don’t worry about the clothes. I get free shit from brands, but if it’s going to bother you, I can get them back from you next time I’m at Reggie’s. Do you need anything else?”

Severus shook his head. “No, thank you. I appreciate it.”

“Yeah, of course,” Sirius said with a yawn, “Um, I think I’m going to go to bed, but…thank you. For tonight. I think I can kind of see why Reggie likes you so much.”

“Oh?” Severus raised his eyebrow with a note of skepticism, and Sirius huffed out a laugh, looking far more relaxed than he had earlier. “I…I was happy to help, Sirius.”

“Sirius?”

“Goodnight,” Severus stated definitively, causing Sirius to look at him with a soft smile that made something in Severus’s gut twist.

“Goodnight,” he whispered back, disappearing into his room. Severus stared out the window into the L.A. lights for a while longer, before retreating into the guest room. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Mhmm and things change...
> 
> Remus isn't going away just yet, and Sirius and Severus both have a lot to think about.


	5. Silent Creeks

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to Nyxsnowwolf for beta-ing!

Sirius’s definition of early differed greatly from Severus’s, so even though Severus got out of bed at the late hour of eight, Sirius still stood in the kitchen, humming as he cooked some eggs.

He startled when he saw Severus and then gestured towards the eggs. Severus nodded, stifled a yawn, and stumbled into the bathroom.

When he finished making himself somewhat presentable, he rejoined Sirius in the kitchen. Sirius had set two plates of eggs on the table and, Severus noted with a sigh of relief, brewed cups of coffee.

“Thanks,” he grumbled as he reached for the coffee and cradled it in his hands.

“Sleep well?” Sirius asked. He had pulled his hair back into a loose bun, and he ran his hand over the stubble on his jaw. His voice still sounded rough as if he had just woken up.

Severus nodded, taking a bite of the surprisingly delicious eggs. He wouldn’t have thought Sirius would know how to cook, given the army of assistants someone like him probably had.

“Alright,” Sirius continued, stretching his arms above his head. “I’ve got to head to a shoot soon, but I can give you a ride...”

“No, I’ll just walk,” Severus interrupted. “I always take walks in the mornings. Let me think,” he admitted when Sirius still looked slightly taken aback by his abrupt refusal. “Thanks though for…” he gestured around the room, and Sirius smiled between bites of the eggs.

“Yeah, of course.” They ate for a few more minutes in silence, Severus not in the headspace to engage in a conversation until at least the caffeine kicked in. Sirius made no efforts either, seeming to relax slightly in the silence. At least, this time the silence didn’t reek of awkwardness. There was a peace to it, even if Severus couldn’t understand it.

When they finished breakfast, Sirius placed the dishes in the dishwasher and grabbed his leather jacket and motorcycle keys. Severus started to head to the guestroom to gather his stuff, but Sirius calling out to him stopped him. “Actually, Severus,” he began, sounding serious. Severus stopped suddenly and turned to look at him, the severity of the tone causing his stomach to sink.

“Yes?”

“I think you…you mentioned seeing Remus again?”

“Yes,” Severus replied thinly.

“Don’t, okay? He…you don’t want to get involved in what he’s trying to do. There’s…it’s for the better if you just...just stay away from him. Stick with Reggie and let Remus Lupin be, okay?”

“I…” Severus paused for he really didn’t know what to say. His natural curiosity demanded he talk to Remus. However, at the same time, he recognized Sirius’s fear and the likelihood that doing so could make his life much more complicated. He decided to appease Sirius; he could always talk to Lily about it later. “I…yes. I will.”

“Good,” Sirius muttered, before walking out the door and leaving Severus alone with his whirling thoughts.

**********************

“Severus, I can’t believe this stuff is happening to you. I’m stuck in Boston where the most exciting thing that’s happened to me this past week is that I’m no longer walking through a foot of snow.”

“That’s pretty exciting, Lils.”

He heard Lily snort. “Ah yes of course. Not like I had _the_ Sirius Black take me back to his apartment or had a conversation with _the_ Narcissa Black.”

“Come out to L.A.”

“I _am_. Still, you just casually telling me stuff like this as if it’s no big deal doesn’t help.”

“Sorry.”

“Don’t apologize. It’s fine. I’m just bitter.”

Severus huffed out a laugh. “He’s not as bad as I thought,” he admitted.

“Who? Sirius Black?”

“Yeah, he was…different when he was alone. Not as arrogant or…you know what I mean?”

“Like you?” Lily asked. Severus gripped the phone against his ear.

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“You’re different when you’re with me than if you’re with others. You’re more yourself. I don’t think you feel that you need to be like what you…be like what you think you’re supposed to be.”

“Well, of course I’m more comfortable with just you.”

“Yeah, but do you understand what I mean? He probably didn’t feel like he needed to act in front of you.”

“He’s an actor, Lily,” Severus stated flatly, and he could imagine Lily’s eye roll.

“I know _that_. But I’m just saying he might feel like he needs to be an asshole with people because they expect him to be like that. And then with you, maybe he didn’t.”

Severus fell silent as he thought. He remembered the weight of Sirius’s head in his lap and the feel of his hair through his fingers.

“Severus?”

“Well, I mean…”

“What happened?”

“He…well I’m not sure I should.” He debated internally for a moment as Lily waited. It was a betrayal of trust, he knew, but at the same time, he trusted Lily and knew she would never use it to hurt either of them. Besides, he desperately needed someone to talk to. “He had a…a panic attack with me. And so I did what Mom used to do. That might have…changed something.”

“Severus.”

“What?”

“What…what happened?”

Severus lay out across his bed and explained to Lily the party and Moony and then Sirius Black unable to breathe and clutching at his chest.

“So you held him and sang to him?”

Severus blushed, feeling awkward. “Yeah…Lil’s, I didn’t-”

“Sev, no wonder he probably feels like he can trust you now. Or at least relax around you more. Cause it helped, right? You singing?”

Severus nodded before remembering Lily couldn’t see him. “Yeah, it did.”

“That’s…” Lily paused, seeming to choke up, “that’s wonderful of you, Sev. Truly. Oh, I’m so proud of you.”

“Proud of me?” Severus asked wirily. He imagined Lily’s’ enthusiastic nod and earnest eyes.

“Yes, of course. That was kind of you, Sev. But…what are you going to do about Moony, then? You said…”

“Sirius doesn’t want me to talk to him.”

“And what do you want?”

Severus thought for a long moment as he stared up at the ceiling. What _did_ he want? “I want to know,” he answered. “I want to know what happened.”

“Then that answers that question, doesn’t it? And if…well, whatever happens, I’ll be here for you. And if you have to flee to Boston, you can.”

Severus snorted. “Hopefully, it doesn’t come to that.” He paused. “Thanks Lily.”

“Of course. Wow…you and Sirius Black! Sev, I’m blushing.”

“Oh, stuff it. It wasn’t like that.”

“Still,” she crooned as Severus scowled into the phone.

“Goodbye, Lily.”

“Bye Sev! Let me know what happens.”

**********************

“What’d you do to get my brother to like you?” Regulus asked over dinner one night. Severus glanced up at him.

“Oh…I, the night of the party here, he let me crash at his place,” Severus answered quickly, using his fork to push around his salad. He could feel Regulus’s gaze on him.

“When you disappeared,” Regulus stated. Severus winced apologetically.

“Sorry. It was just getting to be a lot for me.”

Regulus nodded sympathetically. “Cissy’s a lot, if you don’t know what you’re doing. So then…”

“Your brother found me,” Severus explained, veering around the events of the night. “We both were tired, and since I couldn’t go to my room, he offered to let me sleep at his place. It wasn’t a big deal.”

Regulus arched an eyebrow as he took a bite of the salad. “Still,” he said, “my brother doesn’t like a lot of people.”

“He doesn’t?” Severus asked, surprised. It would seem as if Sirius would have a plentitude of friends; he was a famous movie star, after all.

Regulus nodded and lifted a hand to start to count. “Me, sometimes,” he joked, “James, Peter, and then Marlene, I guess. Cissy and Bella, too, but they’re kind of a lot. Definitely not my parents. He used to be close to this other person, but something happened, I think. It wasn’t…,” he trailed off, frowning, and Severus had a gut feeling that he spoke of Remus Lupin. Interesting, he thought. That spoke of friendship. “Maybe a few others in the industry, but mostly those. And then you now. So you should feel honored.”

“Oh,” Severus said, still surprised. “It seems like he would…”

Regulus shook his head and sighed. “I don’t know. He’s never been the friendly type. I think he just expects the worst from people. Even you, I don’t think he liked very much in the beginning.”

“He didn’t,” he stated flatly, and Regulus winced.

“Figured, but he seems to like you now. Told me that I should stay friends with you. And trust me, he’s never said that to me about someone before.”

“I’m flattered,” Severus said honestly, a bit abashed at the attention. “I don’t think your brother’s so bad anymore either. Just took some time to warm up to.”

Regulus huffed a laugh. “Yeah, I can imagine.” He met Severus’s eyes and smiled. “It’s really nice. Honestly.”

“Well, I’m glad, Reg.”

“Me too,” Regulus said, the smile easy on his face until a thought crossed his mind and he frowned. “Can I, um, ask what happened with Moony? I thought you were…”

Severus sighed and gave a tight shrug. “It stopped working out,” he said lightly, trying to lighten the depth of the situation, while also remaining somewhat truthful.

“Oh?” Regulus pressed, not content with the answer. Severus looked back down into his salad and shifted awkwardly. 

“No, I…he started to get a little weird,” Severus admitted. “It got uncomfortable, and it wasn’t something I wanted to deal with.”

Guilt streaked through him at Regulus’s understanding expression; after his senior year in high school, he had sworn not to keep secrets from Lily or any other person he considered his friend. By doing so, he had almost lost her. He hated the idea of having the same happen with Regulus. Yet, he couldn’t speak honestly with Regulus about this. Not yet. Not when there was still so much he didn’t know.

“I’m sorry to hear that,” Regulus responded sympathetically. “L.A.’s a weird city to begin with, and there’s some people here who aren’t…who are strange. I – there’s sometimes people you can’t trust. Who you think are one thing and then turn out not to be. It’s alright, it’s just-you have to be more careful here, I think. ”

Severus murmured his agreement and neglected telling Regulus that they spoke of the same person.

**********************

Of all places to hold a covert meeting that entertained the possibility of a dramatic confrontation or horrible revelations, a pretentious hipster coffee shop would not have been on Severus’s list. Perhaps an abandoned warehouse. A deserted dock at midnight. Certainly not with Severus ordering himself an over-priced coffee and trying not to let the obnoxious coolness of the barista intimidate him.

Moony – _Remus_ he corrected for old habits die hard - stood beside him, hands awkwardly shoved into his pockets as he exchanged a tight smile with the cashier. They had yet to speak beside a cursory greeting. Severus’s entrenched scowl caused the cashier to glance worryingly between the two of them.

Remus still looked the same as when Severus had last seen him in the hallway outside of his apartment. His hair lay nicely tousled, his brown eyes still contained the same endearing warmth, and his horrific scars ruined the pleasantness of his face. He wore a dark green t-shirt and tan trousers, the outfit flattering him in a way that irked Severus.

He didn’t want to think a single good thought about Remus Lupin today. No, he had only come to satiate his curiosity, give Lily a good story, and then promptly provide the closure he needed to prevent the abrupt end to their friendship from festering.

The fact that looking at Remus Lupin reminded him of their peaceful drives through the misty mountains or the endearing way Remus’s laugh had rung out at Severus’s distaste of sand and sun only made him angrier.

The barista handed them their drinks, and Severus cradled it to his chest as they moved to an empty table in the far corner of the café. The café had tried to channel a stripped-back rurality that left Severus glowering on a wooden stool as Remus peered at him over a cracking wooden table.

“Be quick,” Severus muttered. Remus nodded and set his coffee on the table.

“Thank you for-.”

“Spare me,” Severus hissed. “I’m not here for you.”

Remus blinked and shifted back in his seat. His hands rested on the table, fingertips tracing around a whorl in the wood.

“Okay,” Remus modified, voice noticeably cooler. “You want to know what happened?”

Severus shot him a look that clearly spoke of yes. Remus nodded again and met Severus’s eyes, staring firmly into them.

“Fenrir Grayback set that wolf on me. He staged the accident. He had pulled Sirius to the side for ‘acting tips’, and as I stood there, waiting for the scene to start again, the caretaker neglected the wolf, and it lunged for me.” He gestured towards his face and the horrible scars. “Hence.”

“It went for you. Out of an entire crew,” Severus stated flatly; he had sworn to remain as skeptical of Remus’s story as possible. Remus had already proven himself a liar, and Severus needed to make sure his story was airtight. “A bit lucky for Grayback.”

Remus stared at him confused for a moment until understanding crossed his face and his expression soured. “Oh, it wasn’t luck.”

Severus arched an eyebrow disbelievingly. “Yet, it just happened to choose you?”

Remus moved his hands into his lap and frowned. He seemed to debate something until he finally sighed. “There are scents that attract wolves,” he stated. “I was dirty that scene – have you ever seen the show?” Severus shook his head, and Remus continued. “It was about two rough and tumble boys making it out in the world. The wolves symbolized whatever we were. In the scene, I was filthy – a metaphorical low point in which seeing the wolf would give me renewed strength, that kind of nonsense. They had put gunk on me to make me smell.”

“So?”

“So,” Remus explained, “You starve the wolf for a few days before, you lather me in prey scent as part of my costume, and bam, he’s going to directly for me.”

“That’s speculation,” Severus stated, more as a precursor than admitting that something like that could work. He took a sip of his coffee as he tried to dissect Remus’s story.

Remus sighed. “It is, unless there was a reason that Grayback wanted…”

“And there is?”

At this Remus sobered, brows furrowing as he stared at a spot on the table. He took a long moment before he spoke again. “Yes,” he admitted quietly. “There was.”

“And?” Severus demanded, ignoring Remus’s obvious discomfort. Remus remained lost in his thoughts for a moment longer before looking up again and meeting Severus’s gaze. Severus paused at the look in Remus’s eyes – the anger and the pain that replaced the soft kindness.

“And it was the kind of thing that would have destroyed Grayback. The kind of thing he would _never_ have allowed an eleven-year-old boy to even breathe a word of, and when he heard that I had told my parents and that they were going to the press over it, he needed to stop it.”

Severus mulled over his words, averting his gaze for he could no longer handle the sheer rage and agony in Remus’s eyes. “So you were supposed to die?” he asked, trying to make sense of it.

Remus let out a bitter laugh. “Probably. Don’t think he would have been all that upset,” he paused, his face twisting uncomfortably. “It didn’t matter as he longer has could show my parents that he _could._ That if they went to the press, he would do far worse. That sure, this time, I got out of this scarred, but at least I was still alive.”

“So that-?”

“So that if my parents ever thought of saying anything, they knew he would kill me. He could, and he would,” Remus interrupted, voice dropping into a low, enraged hiss. “And so we stayed quiet. We shut up. I was now a scarred little kid, and the world was an awful place, but they didn’t want to make it worse.”

“But…” Severus prompted because Remus’s words no longer seemed to apply, especially in the face of this anger.

“But I’m not a coward,” Remus declared, brown eyes turning steely. “I’m _not,_ ” he stressed, “And I’m not going to remain quiet anymore. I’m not going to play nice.”

Severus nodded as Remus breathed heavily, hands clenched tightly into fists. He waited a moment for Remus’s anger to dissipate slightly.

“Then how does…how does Sirius Black factor in?” he asked carefully, noticing that Remus flinched at the name.

Remus tensed and his voice came out as a growl. “Because he also knows. And he knows he needs to stand up to these people, and that he should be out here with me instead of hiding in his shitty little life.”

Severus ran his finger around the rim of his drink. “And that’s why…”

“I know you might find this hard to believe,” Remus said, voice growing hard. “But we were once best friends. God, I think we loved each other, as much as two boys can. On that set, I wanted…we both just wanted to be with each other…so the fact that he’s a fucking coward and that he avoids me like the plague and can’t even-.”

“You used Regulus,” Severus interrupted calmly. “And me too, I suppose.”

Remus blinked and scowled. “I didn’t want to.”

“You still did,” Severus countered. Remus ran a hand over the scars on his face, some guilt appearing to abet the anger.

“I didn’t know how else to get to him. To talk to him. And I…I mean, I like the both of you. I didn’t want…but this is bigger than all of us.”

Severus hummed noncommittally, and Remus’s expression softened.

“Severus, I…I am sorry about it. You and Reggie, both. I didn’t know what else to do.”

“Still doesn’t excuse it,” Severus replied lightly, taking another sip of his cooling coffee. He met Remus’s eyes briefly and felt gratified to see that indeed, Remus did look sorry. However, Severus wasn’t in a forgiving mood.

“I know,” Remus said softly. Severus placed his cup down and leaned back to regard Remus.

“What happened?”

“Huh?”

“What did Grayback do?” Severus asked bluntly. As far as he could see, that remained the last major gap in his story.

Remus paled at the question, and the lines of his face seemed to grow harsh and pained. He swallowed hard, and Severus noticed that when he took a sip of his drink, his hands trembled. “It’s…,” he paused as if trying to clear his throat. “I’m not sure…what will you do if I tell you?”

Severus shrugged. “Depends,” he said coolly.

Remus considered his response, eyes flickering shut for a brief moment. “Will you help me with Sirius?”

The weight of Sirius’s head in his lap. The fear. The panic. The sound of his singing drifting through the night.

“No,” Severus replied, shrugging again to disguise the severity of his decision. Whatever Remus knew deeply frightened Sirius, and Severus knew far too well how much it hurt to uproot childhood trauma. If Sirius wished to speak about it, Severus wouldn’t stop him by any means. But he didn’t enjoy the idea of forcing Sirius to unearth what he had so desperately buried, regardless of Remus’s earnest pleas.

He imagined himself as Sirius – Severus, talk about your father, Severus, what happened when you were five – and his mouth grew stale and bitter with the thought of it. No, no, he wouldn’t pressure Sirius into something like that, especially now that he didn’t hate the man as much as he had in the beginning.

“No?” Remus repeated startled. “You won’t? But-?”

“No,” Severus affirmed. “I’m not going to be a part of this. And I’m not going to force Sirius Black to do what you want him to do. Why do you need him anyway? Why can’t you-?”

“Because,” Remus interrupted, leaning forward as his voice took on a note of franticness. “Because he’s the one who can take down Riddle. And because people won’t ignore him, not like they could with me.”

“The director?” Severus clarified, surprised. He flashed back to that obnoxious article that enthusiastically cited Sirius Black’s successes.

Remus nodded. “The director. But he’s – Grayback’s nothing when it comes to Riddle. And Sirius can take him down. Sirius could, if he wasn’t-.”

“Wasn’t, perhaps, trying to live a life not mired in the past,” Severus finished, knowing he sounded angry. But he _knew_. He _remembered._

Remus blinked at his words. “You can’t leave this in the past.”

Severus moved to stand, tired of the conversation and Remus’s righteous rage and how it had started to pick at the locks on the boxes he had stacked in the back of his mind. “Thank you,” he said simply, voice unaffected. “This is clarifying, and I do wish you the best Remus. I hope you get out of L.A. one day. But I can’t be a part of this. I can’t help you as you want me too.”

“Severus-,” Remus protested, standing up to stare across the table at Severus. “There’s terrible things happening. Still happening. And we’re trying to stop that.”

“There is no ‘we’,” Severus clarified coldly. Remus fell quiet, brown eyes searching Severus’s.

“Is there nothing I can say?”

“No,” Severus stated. “Thank you for taking me into the mountains. I did enjoy that. But we are done, Remus. I wish you a good life.”

He left before Remus could respond, heart his in his throat and stomach clenching nervously. He strode quickly out, Remus making no moves to stop him. He leaned heavily against a wall for a long moment as he tried to steady himself and make sense of the mess he was mired in.

At the very least, it was over now, he thought. He had his closure, his curiosity had been sated enough that it wouldn’t continue to haunt him, and he had maintained his friendship with Regulus.

Remus Lupin would rage against the machine and hopefully bring justice to the world, and Severus would try to live a quiet life where the boxes in his head never rattled or threatened to open.

It would be alright, he thought. He would be alright. He hated L.A., so be it, for it felt rotten and wrong, but it didn’t matter. Not to him and the life he would safely build in that pleasant apartment with Regulus and in his lab and on the university’s campus. Sirius Black and Remus Lupin and James Potter and the rest of them would remain interesting footnotes – fodder for conversation with Lily.

He would be alright, and he would graduate with his Master’s, and he would return to the east coast with Lily, and that would be all there was to it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I couldn't reveal everything straight away, but I hope the mystery has you hooked. There'll be a lot more to come for these characters. 
> 
> I apologize for the long update speed - this semester has been far more difficult than I anticipated and I've had to work to juggle writing with everything else. I'll try to update every two or weeks or so now, but I don't want to make any promises just yet. However, I am not abandoning this work - just trying to make sure I can survive this semester :) 
> 
> Thank you for reading! I love hearing all your thoughts and reactions and theories, so please feel free to comment below :)

**Author's Note:**

> Ahh, the wonderful feeling of instant inspiration after reading a story and having the mad urge to turn into a multi-chapter fanfiction with more drama than is probably healthy. WolfyWordWeaver's story is excellent, but I got caught up in the idea of Severus/Sirius (my favorite couple to write) and hence, this was born.
> 
> I've been to L.A. once, and I was not hanging out with movie stars, but I've seen enough movies to imagine it goes something like this. Please feel free to substitute any of the nameless celebrities with your personal favorites. Severus doesn't know any better, so do as you will with whatever famous person you fancy. 
> 
> I'm also planning about 10-15 chapters for this, with eventual Severus/Sirius, and I love every comment :)


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